Balance Archives - Zamai Banje

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April 15, 2024 / 0 Comments

Real Happiness: What it Means to be Truly Happy

How can you experience real happiness?

Here are some guidelines on how to go about it. These guidelines are paraphrased from the Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE REAL HAPPINESS

Today, I believe happiness is really a default state.

Happiness is there when you remove the sense of something missing in your life. If you constantly walk around thinking, “I need this,” or “I need that,” trapped in the web of desires – you are not happy.

Happiness is the state when nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or future to regret something or to plan something.

Real Happiness

HOW YOUR HAPPINESS IS OFTEN DESTROYED

You can literally destroy your happiness if you spend all of your time living in delusions of the future.

For instance, when you crave experiences that will make you be present, the cravings themselves take you from the present moment. A lot of your unhappiness likely comes from comparing things from the past to the present.

The idea you’re going to change something in the outside world, and that is going to bring you the peace, everlasting joy, and happiness you deserve, is a fundamental delusion we all suffer from, including me.

The mistake over and over and over is to say, “Oh, I’ll be happy when I get that thing,” whatever it is. That is the fundamental mistake we all make, 24/7, all day long.

THE ILLUSION OF HAPPINESS

When you’re young, you have time. You have health, but you have no money. When you’re middle-aged, you have money and you have health, but you have no time. When you’re old, you have money and you have time, but you have no health.

So the trifecta is trying to get all three at once. By the time people realize they have enough money, they’ve lost their time and their health.

Here is a short story that perfectly describes the illusion of happiness. It is from the book – The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

THE SHOPKEEPER’S SON AND THE WISE MAN

“A certain shopkeeper sent his son to learn about the secret of happiness from the wisest man in the world. The lad wandered through the desert for forty days, and finally came upon a beautiful castle, high atop a mountain. It was there that the wise man lived.

“Rather than finding a saintly man, though, our hero, on entering the main room of the castle, saw a hive of activity: tradesmen came and went, people were conversing in the corners, a small orchestra was playing soft music, and there was a table covered with platters of the most delicious food in that part of the world. The wise man conversed with everyone, and the boy had to wait for two hours before it was his turn to be given the man’s attention.

“The wise man listened attentively to the boy’s explanation of why he had come, but told him that he didn’t have time just then to explain the secret of happiness. He suggested that the boy look around the palace and return in two hours.

“‘Meanwhile, I want to ask you to do something,’ said the wise man, handing the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil. ‘As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill.’

THE REALIZATION OF THE SHOPKEEPER’S SON

“The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the palace, keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the room where the wise man was.

“‘Well,’ asked the wise man, ‘did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging in my dining hall? Did you see the garden that it took the master gardener ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?’

“The boy was embarrassed and confessed that he had observed nothing. His only concern had been not to spill the oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.

“‘Then go back and observe the marvels of my world,’ said the wise man. ‘You cannot trust a man if you don’t know his house.’

“Relieved, the boy picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the palace, this time observing all of the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around him, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything he had seen.

“‘But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?’ asked the wise man.

“Looking down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone.

“‘Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you,’ said the wisest of wise men. ‘The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.’”

YOUR HAPPINESS IS CONNECTED TO YOUR PEACE

Peace is happiness at rest, and happiness is peace in motion.

You can convert peace into happiness anytime you want. But peace is what you want most of the time. If you’re a peaceful person, anything you do will be a happy activity.

Today, the way we think you get peace is by resolving all your external problems.

But there are unlimited external problems. So, do you become peaceful then? Well, you can adopt the advice of the wisest person who ever lived. In his words – When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future (Ecclesiastes 7:14 -15 NIV)

The only way to get peace on the inside is by giving up this idea of problems.

THE BIG QUESTION – HOW TO BE TRULY HAPPY

Training yourself to be happy is completely internal.

There is no external progress, no external validation. You’re competing against yourself—it is a single-player game. This means you should forget about the world of competition and comparison.

Rather, focus on increasing your happiness over time, and it starts with believing you can do it.

The most important trick to being happy is to realize happiness is a skill you develop and a choice you make. You choose to be happy, and then you work at it.

This is what it means to be truly happy. This is how you experience real happiness.

March 3, 2024

Productize Yourself: Become The Best at What You Do

“PRODUCTIZE YOURSELF: Productize has specific knowledge and leverage. Yourself has uniqueness and accountability. Yourself also has specific knowledge. So you can combine all of these pieces into these two words.”

This term Productize Yourself is popularized by the Angel Investor – Naval Ravikant. Naval is an investor, who invested early in companies like Uber or Notion. He is also an entrepreneur, co-founding AngelList.

As a product manager, I’ve always been fascinated by this concept and in recent times, I decided to take a deeper look at this notion of productizing yourself.

What does it Mean to Productize Yourself

Productizing yourself means that you must figure out what you’re uniquely good at and apply as much leverage as possible. It’s like taking the best of what you are and packaging it in a way that creates value for others. This concept is common in entrepreneurship, freelancing, consulting, and personal branding.

And you can apply this concept to yourself today.

Productize Yourself

Start with Leverage

Making impact and building influence requires leverage.

To Leverage is to use ‘something’ to its maximum advantage. In this context, that ‘something’ is yourself. How can you fully optimize your skills, knowledge, and experience?

And there are many ways to build leverage.

Leverage can be built through labor or capital. However, these kinds of leverage are gifts from other people. For labor, somebody must follow you. To obtain capital, someone must give you money, assets to oversee or equipment.

Yet, there is a new form of leverage.

Leverage with Code and Media to fully productize yourself

These include books, media, movies, and codes. With this new form of leverage, you can easily package your knowledge with the intention of making it simple to duplicate and distributing them to everybody without having to pay significant additional expenses. Naval called them ‘products of no marginal cost of replication’.

This is the perfect strategy for productizing yourself.

You can locate your audience by searching the internet and social media platforms. And you can use the internet to express yourself uniquely, grow a business, provide value, and make people happy. Any specialized interest can be pursued online, provided you’re the best at it.

All you need is your phone (or a computer) —you don’t need anyone’s permission.

If you can’t code, write books and blogs, record videos and podcasts – Naval Ravikant

Be Credible and Accountable

Intentions don’t matter. Actions do – Naval Ravikant

To get the best of your leverage, you must establish credibility and accountability.

Credibility is risky because you have to do everything in your own name. On the other end, accountability has two drawbacks. It enables you to accept responsibility for successes and bear the consequences when things go wrong.

But imagine this…

You’re waiting for the chance to shine when something new comes along that requires your set of skills. Meanwhile, you have built your brand on LinkedIn, on X and by constantly sharing your knowledge. You took some risks to establish your reputation. When it’s time to seize the opportunity, you can do so by applying as much leverage as you possibly can.

That’s what being accountable will help you.

You have to enjoy it and keep doing it, keep doing it, and keep doing it. Don’t keep track, and don’t keep count because if you do, you will run out of time. – Naval Ravikant

And here is the last step.

Be Authentic to truly Productize Yourself

No one can compete with you on being you. Most of life is a search for who and what needs you the most. – Naval Ravikant

There will always be competition out there.

Finding your unique skill set and being authentic are the keys to breaking free from the competition trap. No one will be able to compete with you because you love what you do, so you know how to do it better.

The good news is that, despite our individual differences, everyone excels at being themselves.

Remember this as well…

Make your most important decisions when you are determining what is right to do and who is best to collaborate with. The real secret to making major improvements in both your financial and personal relationships is staying committed and positive in the long term.

Become the best in the world at what you do. Keep redefining what you do until this is true. – Naval Ravikant

February 12, 2024

People Magnet: Four Quick Ways to be Liked by Others

To be a people magnet is to acknowledge that your happiness and success at work can be strongly influenced by how well-liked you are by others.

People that are likable are regularly better at influencing others—whether it’s convincing coworkers, winning over ideas, or boosting team spirit. Stronger, deeper connections with others can also be nurtured by your likability, and this results in sustaining friendships and partnerships.

Be a People Magnet

Here are the four quick ways to make people like you:

1. Smile to make a great first impression

First impression matters.

And the quickest way to make a great first impression is to give a wide smile. Smiling makes you look friendly and approachable.

A smile says to the other person, ‘I am glad to see you. You make me happy. I always enjoy your company.”

The clothes you wear is not nearly as important as the expression on your face.

WHAT ABOUT THE DAYS YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE SMILING?

Force yourself to smile when you are first alone. Act as if you are already happy, and this will make you happy as well. You are only happy when you choose to be happy.

Then smile afterwards. Your smile is a way of expressing your kindness. Everyone who sees your smile will feel happier around you too.

2. Remember people’s names to make them feel important.

Do you know the average person is more interested in his or her own name than all other names combined?

Former U.S. President, Franklin D. Roosevelt confirms that remembering names is one of the easiest, most evident, and most significant ways to win people over. When you remember that name and call it easily, you have paid a subtle and impactful compliment to that person.

The ability to recall names is nearly as crucial in social and professional interactions as it is in politics.

HOW TO REMEMBER THE NAMES OF PEOPLE

If you are hearing a person’s name clearly for the first time, ask – “I am sorry, I did not hear your name clearly, can you say it again?” If the name is not common, ask the person to spell it out. Then write the name on your phone or a piece of paper.

Make the effort to repeat the name multiple times during the conversation and try to mentally connect it to the person’s features, expression, and overall look. This technique was successfully used by Napoleon the Third.

And it works till now!

SAYING THEIR NAME MAKES YOU A BETTER PEOPLE MAGNET

The person’s name distinguishes them from others and makes them special.

This means that when we address situations with the person’s name, the information we are providing or the request we are making assumes a special significance. It puts you at a sharp advantage for them to like you. This is what makes you a people magnet.

Recognize the power of a name and understand that the only owner of this particular asset is the person we are interacting with. No one else.

3. Listen deeply and encourage people to talk about themselves.

This is a simple method to improve your conversation skills.

Many people don’t listen deeply, which prevents them from leaving a positive impression. They don’t keep their ears open because they are too worried about what they will say next. Studies show that the most influential people value attentive listeners more than talkers. However, listening skills appear to be more uncommon than nearly any other positive quality.

It is essential that you give the person speaking to you your whole attention. Nothing else is so pleasing as that.

A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation – Dale Carnegie

HOW TO BE A GOOD CONVERSATIONALIST

Be a focused listener if you want to be a good conversationalist. Be interested to be interesting.

Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Invite them to share about their experiences and achievements.

Even the most violent critic will often become gentler and quiet when they are around a patient, understanding listener.

4. Develop a sincere interest in other people.

By showing genuine interest in other people, you can make more friends in one month than you can by trying to pique their interest in you over the course of a year.

If you want to make friends, you must put yourself out there to do things for other people – things that require time: energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness. Being genuinely interested in other people not only makes you friends but also fosters a sense of loyalty if you run a business or building a professional career.

This is also the only means for the other ways to work fine for you in the long run.

HOW TO DEVELOP SINCERE INTEREST IN OTHER PEOPLE

Speaking with someone about the things they value most is the best way to winning their heart.

Mention the interests of the other person when you speak. Look for things you both have in common, like hobbies or life experiences. Ask follow-up questions, nod in agreement, and express enthusiasm in the topics they are talking about.

Always bring the focus of the conversation back to the other person.

Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.” – Benjamin Disraeli.

Greet people with enthusiasm and energy as well.

Also use the same mentality when someone calls you on the phone. Say “Hello” in a tone that conveys your happiness that they have called.

This is a fantastic way to build rapport, make them feel valued, and create a more engaging conversation.

READ PREVIOUS ARTICLE – PROSOCIAL: HOW EVERYONE SHOULD OPTIMIZE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS