Relationships Archives - Page 2 of 5

Category: Relationships (page 2 of 5)

September 15, 2024

Real Eyes, Realize, Real Lies

The concept of real eyes probably comes from how some bankers can detect fake money in seconds.

Yes, bank tellers and cashiers receive training on how to recognize counterfeit money with their hands. Banks constantly show them the texture, security features, and printing of the genuine currency. These bank employees eventually handle real money all the time that they can now tell when a note does not feel the way it should.

This special training reminds me of this famous phrase – Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.

The statement plays on the homophonic nature of the words:

“Real Eyes” – Seeing things as they truly are, without deception or illusion.
“Realize” – To become fully aware or understand clearly.
“Real Lies” – Actual deceptions or falsehoods, as opposed to minor or white lies.

Two things are emphasized here. Awareness and Insight.

“Real Eyes Realize Real Lies” suggests that those who truly “see” or perceive reality (i.e., those with “real eyes”) can “realize” or understand the truth, and in doing so, they can discern or detect “real lies” (deception or falsehoods).

Let’s break down this phrase together and check if it applies to you.

Developing Real Eyes

Seeing things as they truly are means you must perceive reality clearly without your bias.

Observe the world objectively and accurately. Free from deception or self-deception. It’s about recognizing the truth of a situation, free from wishful thinking, assumptions or false appearances.

To develop “real eyes”, you must understand the facts. First, be aware of your own biases, emotions and thought patterns. Then, give yourself the space to process information thoroughly before making decisions or forming opinions.

To see reality, you must look deeper to understand underlying truths.

Real Eyes Realize Real Lies

How to Realize

The next step is to become fully aware and understand clearly.

To “realize”, you must understand. And understanding comes from learning. Constantly seek to educate yourself, ask questions and explore new perspectives.

See issues from angles you may not have considered and deepen your understanding of the world.

Uncovering Real Lies

When someone tells you real lies, they present false information or conceal the truth.

Beneath the surface, they are deliberately attempting to mislead or deceive you with the intent to harm or gain an advantage. It can be gaslighting, cheating or manipulation. Or straight up fraud

Truth is still superior to facts.

To uncover real lies, you must always verify information. Trust but verify. Challenge unclear or vague statements with follow-up questions to see if the story holds up.

By being observant, verifying claims, and staying aware of common deceptive tactics, you can better protect yourself from significant lies and manipulation.

What Matters Most

In the end, you must value critical thinking and skepticism.

Encourage yourself to question what you are told. Seek a deeper understanding of reality. Make wise decisions and prevent yourself from being deceived.

When you see clearly (with “real eyes”), you become aware of (“realize”) the deceptions (“real lies”) around you. In other words, it suggests that by looking at the world with clarity and wisdom, you can discern the truth from falsehoods and see through deceptions.

Be the banker that can detect fake money in seconds.

Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.

Monsters or Doctors - Can People Really Change

August 18, 2024

Monsters and Doctors: Can People Really Change?

The theory of Monsters and Doctors came to life after watching a thriller series.

I watched this series this year and it got me confused for weeks after I finished watching it.

The series was about a young brilliant neurosurgeon who risked his career to save the life of a critically wounded boy. Nine years later, the boy now a charismatic young man reappeared to the surgeon, admitted to being a serial killer and disappeared again. The brilliant neurosurgeon felt guilty, deciding to kill this young man even though he was the one who saved him earlier.

Monster. That’s the name of the series.

What is this Series About?

In its simple fictional characters, Monster tackled complex realistic questions. Throughout the series, the characters showed that the line between good and evil is not always clear. Power in the wrong hands always corrupt those around it. And actions meant to do good can have devastating outcomes.

Much of the core battle in Monster is the ideological war between Tenma and Johan.

In the story, Tenma is the young brilliant neurosurgeon and believes all life is precious. Johan is the boy who was saved but grows up to believe all life is meaningless. Tenma represents the good side of humanity while Johan is the bad one.

The story becomes more interesting because of the sides they belonged to.

After Tenma’s first encounter with adult Johan, the doctor abandons his career to right his wrongs. Tenma believed it was his duty to pursue and kill Johan to make amends for the havoc being wrought about his former patient. Meanwhile, Johan continued to kill people and wants to break Tenma psychologically by making him a murderer.

Yet at the end, there is a twist.

Understanding the Original Monsters and Doctors

Hypothetically, if I asked you to choose between Johan and Dr. Tenma, who will you pick?

With this brief character overview, it is so easy to choose Dr. Tenma. He saves people and is a doctor. The doctor is the good guy.

However, there is a short story in the series that briefly explained the nature of Johan:

The Nameless Monster

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a nameless monster.

The monster was dying to have a name.

So the monster made up his mind, and set out on a journey to look for one.

But the world was such a very large place.

The monster split in two, and went on separate journeys.

One went east.

The other headed west.

The one who went east came upon a village.

There was a blacksmith who lived at the village’s entrance.

“Mr. Blacksmith, please give me your name!” said the monster.

“I can’t give you my name!” replied the blacksmith.

‘If you give me your name, I’ll go inside you and make you strong,” said the monster.

“Really?” said the blacksmith, “If you make me stronger, I’ll give you my name.”

The monster went into the blacksmith.

And so, the monster became Otto the blacksmith.

Otto was the strongest man in town.

But then one day he said, “Look at me! Look at me! The monster inside of me is getting bigger!”

Munch munch, chomp chomp, gobble gobble, gulp.

The hungry monster ate up Otto from the inside out.

Once again, he was a monster without a name.

Next, he went into Hans the shoemaker.

However…

Munch munch, chomp chomp, gobble gobble, gulp.

Once again, he went back to being a monster without a name.

Then, he became Thomas the hunter.

But soon…

Munch munch, chomp chomp, gobble gobble, gulp.

Back he went to being a monster without a name.

The monster next went to a castle to look for a nice name.

He came upon a very sick boy who lived in that castle.

“If you give me your name, I’ll make you strong,” said the monster.

The boy replied, “If you can make me healthy and strong, I will give you my name!”

So the monster jumped right into the boy.

And the boy became full of vigor.

The king was overjoyed.

He announced, “The prince is healthy! The prince is strong!”

The monster became quite fond of the boy’s name.

He was also quite pleased with his royal life in the castle.

So he controlled himself no matter how ravenous his appetite became.

Day after day, despite his growing hunger, the monster stayed put inside the boy.

But finally, the hunger just became too great…

“Look at me! Look at me!” said the boy, “The monster inside of me has gotten this big!”

The boy devoured the king and all his servants.

Munch munch, chomp chomp, gobble gobble, gulp.

The castle was lonely now with everyone gone, so the boy left on a journey.

He walked and walked for days.

And then one day, the boy came upon the monster who had gone west.

“I have a name!” said the boy, “And it’s such a wonderful one at that!”

But the monster who went west replied, “Who needs a name? I’m perfectly happy without one. After all, that’s what we are – nameless monsters.”

The boy ate up the monster who went west.

At last he had found a name, but there was no longer anyone to call him by it.

Such a shame, because Johan was such a wonderful name.

What happens at the end of the series?

In the final episodes, Johan eventually comes face-to-face with Tenma and urges the surgeon to shoot him.

Tenma doesn’t go through with it, and then a drunk guy arrives and shoots Johan instead. The police show up on the scene. As it happens, Tenma is the only surgeon qualified to save Johan’s life.

Despite having embarked on a long, painful journey to eliminate the monster he had created, Tenma saves Johan’s life and ends up choosing good over evil yet again.

The Monster Series Poster – Monsters or Doctors

Are you part of the Monsters or Doctors?

Monster is a complex and thought-provoking series.

Maybe it can be a good watch for you. Just FYI, it has a slow burn with sentimental flashbacks but staying true to the end is worth it.

And then there are also old philosophical questions of the moral nature of mankind:

Can People Really Change?

Are people born good and they are later corrupted? Or are there some who are born evil? Can a person be completely evil and irredeemable?

Most importantly – Are we monsters or doctors?

It’s up to you to interpret.

June 16, 2024

Get Lucky: 4 Biggest Lessons learned from Fathers

Learning how to get lucky can come from unexpected places.

When I was in secondary school, my dad used to buy Nigerian novels for me and my younger brother, Victor.

One day, he bought this novel for Victor’s birthday. The title was Arrow of God.

The book had too many pages for our age range at that time. And it had no pictures.

My brother easily ignored the book, but the title was too intriguing for me to leave it alone.

What is even the arrow of God? I opened the book and started reading.

And wow! I’d never read anything like that.

Getting Lucky by reading the arrow of God Novel

READING THE ARROW OF GOD NOVEL

The book is such a delightful read and it was written by Chinua Achebe, one of the best storytellers of modern African literature.

The novel focuses on Ezeulu, who is the High Priest of Ulu.

Ulu is the most important deity in the town of Umuaro, and this god brought together six warring villages to create a strong community that shares core values but preserves local village traditions.

The story begins with a bitter feud between the villages of Umuaro and Okperi. And as the story continues, everybody tries to take advantage of this feud for personal gains.

Personally, the most interesting part of the novel were the 3 sons of Ezeulu and their relationship with the father.

These sons each taught me 3 essential traits. There was a 4^th trait from the last son that life eventually teach me, but we will get to that later.

Get Lucky: 4 Lessons from a Father

Son 1: Edogo

Be steady and dependable.

Edogo is Ezeulu’s oldest son and respectful to his father. He loves his wife and his child, constantly worrying about their health.

Even though, Edogo is steady and dependable, he gets little respect from the people of Umuaro. Edogo was not flashy.

Son 2: Obika

Show agility and passion when working with people.

Obika, Ezeulu’s 2^nd son is admired by the village people for his beauty and quickness. Though his father chides him and complains about him—in particular his love of drink—Ezeulu still respects Obika’s strength and masculinity.

However, Obika dies as a young man as a result of over-exerting himself during a religious ritual.

Son 3: Oduche

Know where you are coming from and where you are going to.

Oduche is Ezeulu’s middle son with his favorite wife – Ugoye. Ezeulu sends Oduche to the missionary school at the church with the hopes that Oduche will become fluent in the ways and religion of the white man, enabling him to function as a knowledgeable informant and emissary.

Instead, Oduche becomes attracted to Christianity, and nearly kills the holy python which represents one of the gods of the village.

Son 4: Nwafo

Like I said, we will get to this son’s lesson later.

Whilst still reading this novel, I realize that Ezeulu was immensely prideful. Even though there are other proud powerful men, Ezeulu is so full of pride to the detriment of himself and his people.

In Umuaro, the people cannot harvest the yams until Ezeulu has called the New Yam Feast to give thanks to Ulu.

Yet, he refuses to call the feast despite being implored by other important men in the village to compromise.

The yams begin to rot in the field, and a famine ensues for which the village blames Ezeulu.

Because of this, many of the villagers lost their faith in Ezeulu, embracing Christianity instead. Rather than starve, the villagers flock to the church to make offerings to the Christian God.

That taught me the 4^th trait – Don’t underestimate your luck and position in life.

Get Lucky

The last son – Nwafo was Ezeulu’s favorite and was naturally interested in the priestly duties.

He was heavily favored to inherit the title and responsibilities of High Priest of Ulu.

Above the other sons. Simply because of luck and positioning.

Speaking of luck, I deeply resonate from this excerpt from Naval.

He talks about how to get lucky and the four different kinds of luck:

How to Get Lucky and the Four Different Kinds of Luck

Blind luck. The first kind of luck you might say is blind luck. Where I just got lucky because something completely out of my control happened. That’s fortune, that’s fate.
Luck from hustling. Then there’s luck that comes through persistence, hard work, hustle, motion. Which is when you’re running around creating lots of opportunities, you’re generating a lot of energy, you’re doing a lot of things, lots of things will get stirred up in the dust.
Luck from preparation. A third way is that you become very good at spotting luck. If you are very skilled in a field, you will notice when a lucky break happens in that field. When other people who aren’t attuned to it won’t notice. So you become sensitive to luck and that’s through skill and knowledge and work.
Luck from your unique character. Then the last kind of luck is the weirdest, hardest kind. Which is where you build a unique character, a unique brand, a unique mindset, where then luck finds you. You created your own luck. You put yourself in a position to be able to capitalize on that luck. Or to attract that luck when nobody else has created that opportunity for themselves.

Make Luck Your Destiny. Build your character in a way that luck becomes deterministic.

Summary:

Be steady and dependable.
Show agility and passion when working with people.
Know where you are coming from and where you are going to.
Don’t underestimate your luck and position in life. Keep building on it.