Category: Relationships (page 1 of 3)

You Must Have No Enemies

No Enemies

No Enemies

You must have no enemies to succeed. If you feel left behind in life, pay attention to this story.

In 2023, MAPPA released the masterpiece “Vinland Saga Season 2”. This show tells the story of Thorfinn, a young Viking warrior who killed his longtime enemy, Askeladd to avenge his father’s death.

When Thorfinn eventually kills Askeladd, he loses his purpose in life. He turns from a mighty warrior to a slave with a broken spirit working for a farmer.

However, as the years go by, He works alongside Einar, another slave, and the two develop a strong friendship.

Thorfinn slowly discovers purpose through hardwork and starts to consider a more peaceful existence.

The truth Discovered by Thorfinn

You see, during his enslavement, Thorfinn realizes a harrowing truth: the mile-long road of men he’s slaughtered in pursuit of avenging his father’s death led to his undoing.

With this truth, the once-fearsome Viking warrior chooses a new purpose: rid the world of war and slavery.

When you think his tale is going to end well, the past comes to haunt Thorfinn.

An all-out war breaks in the remaining parts of Europe and the new king decides to attack the farmland where Thorfinn stays.

Thorfinn’s new philosophy is put into test when he comes to face to face with the new king and his army.

The Quest for no Enemies

War for Vikings serves as a testing ground where victors reap the spoils on the merit of how many people they slaughtered and sold. Or vie for a warrior’s death that would grant them entry into Valhalla – the promised land.

Thorfinn then realizes that his initial brutal and revenge seeking lifestyle has been caused by a series of tactical errors.

I’ll come back to tactical errors in a bit.

While contemplating on how to convince his enemies to stop this war, he remembers the words of his father who had embraced a life of peace:

“You have no enemies. No one in the world is your enemy. There is no one you need to hurt.’

Think on the above line for a while.

When its meaning is clear, then continue reading.

Now let’s talk about tactical errors.

Tactical errors

In football, a tactical error is when a manager makes a mistake without external pressure.

It’s a mistake that happens when the team’s strategy itself is flawed or players don’t execute it properly.

Can you imagine being at the top of your league, yet your mistakes keep costing you the trophy.

The best managers in the world have suffered this.

Carlo Ancelotti, Pep Guardiola, and Mikel Arteta are known for their consistency and discipline. But they have all made tactical errors that cost them trophies.

In the 2005 Champions League Final, Ancelotti’s Milan were up 3-0 at halftime but made errors that allowed Liverpool to come back and win.

In the 2021 UEFA Champions League Final, Guardiola played without a natural defensive midfielder. This was widely seen as a tactical error. Chelsea won the match 1-0, exploiting the gaps in City’s midfield.

Just this weekend, in the 2023/2024 Premier League final run, Arteta made a tactical formation error in a decisive match against Aston Villa and lost the game. This gave Manchester City the chance to go on top of the table and eventually win the Premier League.

While I don’t know what went through the minds of these managers in those moments – the leading cause of these errors is ego and flexibility. Some managers are overly wedded to their tactical philosophies and struggle to adapt during the game, even if the initial approach isn’t working.

Beware of your tactical Errors

Now look back at some of your tactical errors in the past few months.

Those moments when your ego caught up with you, preventing you from doing your best – not because you lacked the abilities, connections, or resources to pull it off.

The moments you tried to hide your talent from the public because of resurfaced rejections from the past.

Those moments you refuse to share your ideas because you don’t want to go the extra mile and be held accountable.

I can totally relate…. It’s difficult to reflect on, but dodging problems is a game for babies.

I need you to go to your battlefield and confront the enemies in front of you.

You will still win in life, my guy.

You are the deserving favorite and have spent your entire life preparing for this premier league title. But you must end the mental battle.

These are the different endings to those movies you keep seeing over and over in your head. That heart break, that wasted chance, the absence of a parent.

The conversations you can’t stop having in your head with your ‘village people’. But you eventually found your voice long after you realized you stay in the city?

Do you get the gist?

You can’t bring all this extra luggage around with you in the end game.

Yes, we are all not immune, but raising awareness is the first step.

Focus on what truly matters.

Tell yourself – “You have no enemies. There is no one you need to hurt.”

And then do your utmost best.

 

Real Happiness: What it Means to be Truly Happy

How can you experience real happiness?

Here are some guidelines on how to go about it. These guidelines are paraphrased from the Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE REAL HAPPINESS

Today, I believe happiness is really a default state.

Happiness is there when you remove the sense of something missing in your life. If you constantly walk around thinking, “I need this,” or “I need that,” trapped in the web of desires – you are not happy.

Happiness is the state when nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or future to regret something or to plan something.

Real Happiness

Real Happiness

HOW YOUR HAPPINESS IS OFTEN DESTROYED

You can literally destroy your happiness if you spend all of your time living in delusions of the future.

For instance, when you crave experiences that will make you be present, the cravings themselves take you from the present moment. A lot of your unhappiness likely comes from comparing things from the past to the present.

The idea you’re going to change something in the outside world, and that is going to bring you the peace, everlasting joy, and happiness you deserve, is a fundamental delusion we all suffer from, including me.

The mistake over and over and over is to say, “Oh, I’ll be happy when I get that thing,” whatever it is. That is the fundamental mistake we all make, 24/7, all day long.

THE ILLUSION OF HAPPINESS

When you’re young, you have time. You have health, but you have no money. When you’re middle-aged, you have money and you have health, but you have no time. When you’re old, you have money and you have time, but you have no health.

So the trifecta is trying to get all three at once. By the time people realize they have enough money, they’ve lost their time and their health.

Here is a short story that perfectly describes the illusion of happiness. It is from the book – The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

THE SHOPKEEPER’S SON AND THE WISE MAN

“A certain shopkeeper sent his son to learn about the secret of happiness from the wisest man in the world. The lad wandered through the desert for forty days, and finally came upon a beautiful castle, high atop a mountain. It was there that the wise man lived.

“Rather than finding a saintly man, though, our hero, on entering the main room of the castle, saw a hive of activity: tradesmen came and went, people were conversing in the corners, a small orchestra was playing soft music, and there was a table covered with platters of the most delicious food in that part of the world. The wise man conversed with everyone, and the boy had to wait for two hours before it was his turn to be given the man’s attention.

“The wise man listened attentively to the boy’s explanation of why he had come, but told him that he didn’t have time just then to explain the secret of happiness. He suggested that the boy look around the palace and return in two hours.

“‘Meanwhile, I want to ask you to do something,’ said the wise man, handing the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil. ‘As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill.’

THE REALIZATION OF THE SHOPKEEPER’S SON

“The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the palace, keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the room where the wise man was.

“‘Well,’ asked the wise man, ‘did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging in my dining hall? Did you see the garden that it took the master gardener ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?’

“The boy was embarrassed and confessed that he had observed nothing. His only concern had been not to spill the oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.

“‘Then go back and observe the marvels of my world,’ said the wise man. ‘You cannot trust a man if you don’t know his house.’

“Relieved, the boy picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the palace, this time observing all of the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around him, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything he had seen.

“‘But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?’ asked the wise man.

“Looking down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone.

“‘Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you,’ said the wisest of wise men. ‘The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.’”

YOUR HAPPINESS IS CONNECTED TO YOUR PEACE

Peace is happiness at rest, and happiness is peace in motion.

You can convert peace into happiness anytime you want. But peace is what you want most of the time.  If you’re a peaceful person, anything you do will be a happy activity.

Today, the way we think you get peace is by resolving all your external problems.

But there are unlimited external problems. So, do you become peaceful then? Well, you can adopt the advice of the wisest person who ever lived. In his words – When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future (Ecclesiastes 7:14 -15 NIV)

The only way to get peace on the inside is by giving up this idea of problems.

THE BIG QUESTION – HOW TO BE TRULY HAPPY

Training yourself to be happy is completely internal.

There is no external progress, no external validation. You’re competing against yourself—it is a single-player game. This means you should forget about the world of competition and comparison.

Rather, focus on increasing your happiness over time, and it starts with believing you can do it.

The most important trick to being happy is to realize happiness is a skill you develop and a choice you make. You choose to be happy, and then you work at it.

This is what it means to be truly happy. This is how you experience real happiness.

Everything You Need to Befriend and Persuade Other People

This is the full guide to handling social interactions, building friendships, and inspiring others.

The famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” reveals these secrets. It has sold over 30 million copies worldwide and even received recommendations from Warren Buffet. Carnegie’s book is full of timeless wisdom and insights that you can use to bring out the best in your relationships.

How to Get the Most Out of This Guide

  1. Have a strong, burning desire to understand the fundamentals of friendships and relationships
  2. Read each article twice before going on to the next one.
  3. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
  4. Highlight each key point from every article.
  5. Review this guide each month
  6. Apply these principles at every opportunity. Use this guide as a working handbook to help you solve your daily social problems.
  7. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering your friend some money every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.
  8. Check up each week on the progress you are making. Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
  9. Keep notes showing how and when you have applied these principles.

Now, Here are the main techniques, so you don’t have to spend hours studying his book. Or tens of other relationship books.

How Everyone Should Optimize Their Relationships

The journey of life is easier with stronger relationships and building more meaningful connections. And it starts by learning the fundamental techniques in handling people.

What Everyone Ought to Know to Bring Out The Best in their Relationships

Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexels

READ ARTICLE: PROSOCIAL: HOW EVERYONE SHOULD OPTIMIZE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS

 

Four Quick Ways to Make People Like You

How well-liked you are by others can strongly influence your happiness and success at work. People that are likable are regularly better at influencing others—whether it’s convincing coworkers, winning over ideas, or boosting team spirit. Here are the four quick ways to make people like you.

Be a People Magnet

Be a People Magnet

READ ARTICLE: PEOPLE MAGNET: FOUR QUICK WAYS TO BE LIKED BY OTHERS

 

How To Always Win People Over to Your Side

Being a persuasive diplomat means you can win people over to your way of thinking. You can build stronger relationships with friends, family, and coworkers when you can convince people of your points of view and effectively convey them. Here are the principles you can apply to become a persuasive diplomat.

Win People Over

Win People Over

READ ARTICLE: PERSUASIVE DIPLOMAT: HOW TO ALWAYS WIN PEOPLE OVER TO YOUR SIDE

 

Avoid These Mistakes to Truly Change People

The role of a leader is to coach, guide and inspire others. To perform this role excellently, a leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Here are the mistakes you must avoid in performing this role of positively influencing people for good.

Positive Leader

Positive Leader

READ ARTICLE: POSITIVE LEADER: AVOID THESE MISTAKES TO TRULY CHANGE PEOPLE