Tag: friendships (page 1 of 2)

Friendships: The Ultimate Life Hack for Mental Health Challenges

Friendships are the ultimate life hacks to solve stress, anxiety, and even addiction.

One of the greatest thinkers of our time – Simon Sinek said the above statement and it blew my mind.

Why was friendship the ultimate hack? How does it solve mental health challenges?

Simon explains how in a conversation with Trevor Noah. I am sharing his thoughts with you here:

The Sacrifice of Friendship for Success

When we say we have sacrificed something for our career. We should not be afraid to put a name to who that sacrifice was. Because often time, it was the people in our lives that we call friends.

Your friends will be there for you. Your work won’t.

Friendships

Friendships

Are you a Good Friend?

You usually make friends from school, work, church and other gatherings.

And then you let the location and time influence these friendships. This means you are unable to keep and maintain your friendships when you are not close to them. Please don’t leave your friendship to coincidence.

But to be a good friend, you have to ask yourself these questions.

Have you sacrificed a meeting to hang out with a friend? Do you call your friends on their birthday and sing them happy birthday? Or do you just put a thing on social media saying happy birthday because you saw everybody else put it on social media.

When a friend is depressed, do you go over to their house, sit, watch movies, eat ice cream all day and be depressed with them?

Have you told your friend – I love you? Not love you or love ya? But I love you. The way you know these things matter is how it made you feel when these things were done to you.

How to Keep and Maintain Friendships

Trevor Noah narrates a story:

“I was on a trip to Greece a few years ago. If you’ve ever been to any of these places where people are on boats and having a great time in the water, it hypnotizes you. Then I turned to one of the Greek guys I was with, and I said Nick,

If I was trying to get a boat, what boat should I get?

I’ll never forget this… His friend jumped in, and he said:

Trevor Noah, let me tell you something – the best boat is your friend’s boat.

It was a joke that had so many layers because if you own a boat there’s a lot of stress.  You don’t want to own a boat unless you really love boats. But the thing I found profound was this.

Everybody who has a boat needs friends to be on that boat with them. And if everybody works to get the boat no one has time to have friends to come on the boat with them. Every boat I know is full of friends who are on that boat.”

Trevor Noah’s message is simple. Work on your friendship so you enjoy your best moments better together.

The Power of Asking for Help

We don’t build trust by offering help. You build trust by asking for it.

If someone is your friend especially if they have been there for you, don’t be selfish to deny them the honor of allowing your friends to be there for you. The reverse should happen too.

This is when you know a friend is a friend.

Friendship vs. Success: Prioritizing People Over Work

Finding the balance between friendship and success is a bit difficult in today’s times.

In our society, it is possible to show up as a family person. You can show up as a CEO. Showing up as a president is also possible.

Yet society does not deem it nice or important to show up as a friend. The society does not prioritize friendships.

You must have noticed it is more remarkable to have an amazing experience with someone than by yourself. When you say, “look what I did” versus “do you remember that time we did that”. The latter is a better feeling than the former.

How Ignoring Friendships affects Romantic Relationships

There is a big and underrated lesson here.

Abandoning or ignoring friendships has affected romantic relationships. Because people have now shifted all the expectations, the support, the love gotten from a community of friends to one person. We have abandoned those outside places and asking our partners to be everything all the time always.

This is an unreasonable and unfair standard to put on someone. Or to be put on you as well.

What does it all mean?

I like how Trevor Noah concludes their conversation with this adage:

A person is a person only because of the people. I guess King Solomon already knew this because he said it twice:

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

That’s all. I hope this helps

Wishing you the best of friendships.

.

This email was an excerpt from a conversation between Simon Sinek and Trevor Noah. You can watch the full conversation here 

Monsters and Doctors: Can People Really Change?

The theory of Monsters and Doctors came to life after watching a thriller series.

I watched this series this year and it got me confused for weeks after I finished watching it.

The series was about a young brilliant neurosurgeon who risked his career to save the life of a critically wounded boy. Nine years later, the boy now a charismatic young man reappeared to the surgeon, admitted to being a serial killer and disappeared again. The brilliant neurosurgeon felt guilty, deciding to kill this young man even though he was the one who saved him earlier.

Monster. That’s the name of the series.

What is this Series About?

In its simple fictional characters, Monster tackled complex realistic questions. Throughout the series, the characters showed that the line between good and evil is not always clear. Power in the wrong hands always corrupt those around it. And actions meant to do good can have devastating outcomes.

Much of the core battle in Monster is the ideological war between Tenma and Johan.

In the story, Tenma is the young brilliant neurosurgeon and believes all life is precious. Johan is the boy who was saved but grows up to believe all life is meaningless. Tenma represents the good side of humanity while Johan is the bad one.

The story becomes more interesting because of the sides they belonged to.

After Tenma’s first encounter with adult Johan, the doctor abandons his career to right his wrongs. Tenma believed it was his duty to pursue and kill Johan to make amends for the havoc being wrought about his former patient. Meanwhile, Johan continued to kill people and wants to break Tenma psychologically by making him a murderer.

Yet at the end, there is a twist.

Understanding the Original Monsters and Doctors

Hypothetically, if I asked you to choose between Johan and Dr. Tenma, who will you pick?

With this brief character overview, it is so easy to choose Dr. Tenma. He saves people and is a doctor. The doctor is the good guy.

However, there is a short story in the series that briefly explained the nature of Johan:

The Nameless Monster

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a nameless monster.

The monster was dying to have a name.

So the monster made up his mind, and set out on a journey to look for one.

But the world was such a very large place.

The monster split in two, and went on separate journeys.

One went east.

The other headed west.

The one who went east came upon a village.

There was a blacksmith who lived at the village’s entrance.

“Mr. Blacksmith, please give me your name!” said the monster.

“I can’t give you my name!” replied the blacksmith.

‘If you give me your name, I’ll go inside you and make you strong,” said the monster.

“Really?” said the blacksmith, “If you make me stronger, I’ll give you my name.”

The monster went into the blacksmith.

And so, the monster became Otto the blacksmith.

Otto was the strongest man in town.

But then one day he said, “Look at me! Look at me! The monster inside of me is getting bigger!”

Munch munch, chomp chomp, gobble gobble, gulp.

The hungry monster ate up Otto from the inside out.

Once again, he was a monster without a name.

Next, he went into Hans the shoemaker.

However…

Munch munch, chomp chomp, gobble gobble, gulp.

Once again, he went back to being a monster without a name.

Then, he became Thomas the hunter.

But soon…

Munch munch, chomp chomp, gobble gobble, gulp.

Back he went to being a monster without a name.

The monster next went to a castle to look for a nice name.

He came upon a very sick boy who lived in that castle.

“If you give me your name, I’ll make you strong,” said the monster.

The boy replied, “If you can make me healthy and strong, I will give you my name!”

So the monster jumped right into the boy.

And the boy became full of vigor.

The king was overjoyed.

He announced, “The prince is healthy! The prince is strong!”

The monster became quite fond of the boy’s name.

He was also quite pleased with his royal life in the castle.

So he controlled himself no matter how ravenous his appetite became.

Day after day, despite his growing hunger, the monster stayed put inside the boy.

But finally, the hunger just became too great…

“Look at me! Look at me!” said the boy, “The monster inside of me has gotten this big!”

The boy devoured the king and all his servants.

Munch munch, chomp chomp, gobble gobble, gulp.

The castle was lonely now with everyone gone, so the boy left on a journey.

He walked and walked for days.

And then one day, the boy came upon the monster who had gone west.

“I have a name!” said the boy, “And it’s such a wonderful one at that!”

But the monster who went west replied, “Who needs a name? I’m perfectly happy without one. After all, that’s what we are – nameless monsters.”

The boy ate up the monster who went west.

At last he had found a name, but there was no longer anyone to call him by it.

Such a shame, because Johan was such a wonderful name.

What happens at the end of the series?

In the final episodes, Johan eventually comes face-to-face with Tenma and urges the surgeon to shoot him.

Tenma doesn’t go through with it, and then a drunk guy arrives and shoots Johan instead. The police show up on the scene. As it happens, Tenma is the only surgeon qualified to save Johan’s life.

Despite having embarked on a long, painful journey to eliminate the monster he had created, Tenma saves Johan’s life and ends up choosing good over evil yet again.

Monsters or Doctors

The Monster Series Poster – Monsters or Doctors

Are you part of the Monsters or Doctors?

Monster is a complex and thought-provoking series.

Maybe it can be a good watch for you. Just FYI, it has a slow burn with sentimental flashbacks but staying true to the end is worth it.

And then there are also old philosophical questions of the moral nature of mankind:

Can People Really Change?

Are people born good and they are later corrupted? Or are there some who are born evil? Can a person be completely evil and irredeemable?

Most importantly – Are we monsters or doctors?

It’s up to you to interpret.

Everything You Need to Befriend and Persuade Other People

This is the full guide to handling social interactions, building friendships, and inspiring others.

The famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” reveals these secrets. It has sold over 30 million copies worldwide and even received recommendations from Warren Buffet. Carnegie’s book is full of timeless wisdom and insights that you can use to bring out the best in your relationships.

How to Get the Most Out of This Guide

  1. Have a strong, burning desire to understand the fundamentals of friendships and relationships
  2. Read each article twice before going on to the next one.
  3. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
  4. Highlight each key point from every article.
  5. Review this guide each month
  6. Apply these principles at every opportunity. Use this guide as a working handbook to help you solve your daily social problems.
  7. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering your friend some money every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.
  8. Check up each week on the progress you are making. Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
  9. Keep notes showing how and when you have applied these principles.

Now, Here are the main techniques, so you don’t have to spend hours studying his book. Or tens of other relationship books.

How Everyone Should Optimize Their Relationships

The journey of life is easier with stronger relationships and building more meaningful connections. And it starts by learning the fundamental techniques in handling people.

What Everyone Ought to Know to Bring Out The Best in their Relationships

Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexels

READ ARTICLE: PROSOCIAL: HOW EVERYONE SHOULD OPTIMIZE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS

 

Four Quick Ways to Make People Like You

How well-liked you are by others can strongly influence your happiness and success at work. People that are likable are regularly better at influencing others—whether it’s convincing coworkers, winning over ideas, or boosting team spirit. Here are the four quick ways to make people like you.

Be a People Magnet

Be a People Magnet

READ ARTICLE: PEOPLE MAGNET: FOUR QUICK WAYS TO BE LIKED BY OTHERS

 

How To Always Win People Over to Your Side

Being a persuasive diplomat means you can win people over to your way of thinking. You can build stronger relationships with friends, family, and coworkers when you can convince people of your points of view and effectively convey them. Here are the principles you can apply to become a persuasive diplomat.

Win People Over

Win People Over

READ ARTICLE: PERSUASIVE DIPLOMAT: HOW TO ALWAYS WIN PEOPLE OVER TO YOUR SIDE

 

Avoid These Mistakes to Truly Change People

The role of a leader is to coach, guide and inspire others. To perform this role excellently, a leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Here are the mistakes you must avoid in performing this role of positively influencing people for good.

Positive Leader

Positive Leader

READ ARTICLE: POSITIVE LEADER: AVOID THESE MISTAKES TO TRULY CHANGE PEOPLE