Tag: growth (page 15 of 22)

Being Present is All You Need

Being present is the master key that unlocks peace, dissolves inner conflict, and transforms how you experience every moment of your existence.

I will explain how and why throughout this article.

Right now, as you read these words, there’s a voice in your head commenting on them.

It’s analysing, judging, remembering something similar, or already jumping ahead to what comes next.

This voice feels like “you” – but what if it’s the prison guard keeping you locked away from the only moment that truly exists?

Most people live their entire lives as prisoners of their minds, mistaking the endless chatter of thoughts for reality itself.

They spend their days either replaying the past or rehearsing the future, missing the profound truth that life only happens in one place: the present moment.

This constant mental time-travel creates suffering, anxiety, and a deep sense that something essential is missing from life.

But here’s the liberating truth: you are not your mind.

You are the conscious awareness that observes your thoughts, and in that recognition lies your freedom. You don’t need complex techniques, years of therapy, or perfect life circumstances.

Being present is all you need, and here’s how.

You Are Not Your Mind

The mind is a great tool when used rightly.

However, when misused, it becomes a destructive instrument. For a more accurate context, you usually don’t use your mind. Your mind uses you instead.

The easiest way to know this is by answering these 3 questions:

  • Can you be free of your mind whenever you want to?
  • Have you found the “off” button for your inner thoughts?
  • If you decide to stop “thinking” now, how long does your mind stay silent?

You believe that you are your mind, but this is an illusion.

Not being able to stop thinking is alarming, but we don’t realise because almost everyone is suffering from it. And it is now considered normal. But honestly, the mind has taken you over.

There are dangers to this subtle takeover.

The mind starts with a “voice inside your head.” This voice is the product of all your history as well as of the collective cultural mindset you inherited. This voice then allows you to see the present through the eyes of your past and get a twisted view of it.

Let me give you an example.

For instance, your mind often imagines things going wrong and negative outcomes; this is called worry. Many people also live with a tormented mind in their head that continuously attacks and punishes them. This causes untold misery and unhappiness, as well as disease to this set of individuals.

The good news is that you can free yourself from your mind.

This is the only true freedom.

Start earning your freedom by beginning to listen to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay specific attention to any repetitive thought patterns. This is how you start being present.

When you hear that voice, listen to it neutrally. This means you don’t judge your thoughts. When you do this, you will realise that you are not this voice. You have also developed your presence.

This presence arises from beyond the mind.

Because now, when you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought. You are now a watcher of the thought. As you listen to the thought, you will feel a conscious presence (your higher self) behind or underneath the thought, as it were. The thought slowly loses its power over you and quickly subsides because you are no longer energising the mind by identifying with it.

This is the beginning of the end of intrusive and habitual thinking.

When your thoughts subside, you will notice the voice in your head is silent. This is a gap of “no-mind”. At first, the gaps will be short, a few seconds perhaps, but gradually they will become longer. When these gaps occur, you feel a certain stillness and peace inside you.

A sense of stillness and peace deepens, and being present becomes your number one activity.

Practice this “Thought-Breaking Process” every day

Take any routine activity that normally is only a means to an end and give it your fullest attention, so that it becomes an end in itself.

For instance, every time you brush your teeth, pay close attention to every hand movement, every touch of the brush between your lips, even your breathing. Be present.

Or when you eat food, pay attention to the sense perceptions associated with this activity: the sound and taste of each bite, the movement of your mouth, the smell of the food, and so on. Become aware of a silent but powerful sense of presence.

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. – Annie Dillard, The Writing Life

There is only one benchmark by which you can measure your success in this practice. How much peace did you feel within yourself?

This is the first most important step in being present. Learn to separate yourself from your mind.

You might ask this question – Isn’t thinking important to survive in this world?

The truth is your mind is an instrument and a tool.

Your mind is there to be used for a specific task, and when the task is completed, you lay it down. About 8o to 90 percent of most people’s thinking is only repetitive, useless and harmful.  Observe your mind and you will realize that this is true.

Your mind is there to be used for a specific task, and when the task is completed, you lay it down. About 8o to 90 per cent of most people’s thinking is only repetitive, useless and harmful.  Observe your mind and you will realise that this is true.

It’s important to note that when you are no longer your mind, you don’t lose your ability to analyze or learn how to think more clearly.

Thinking and being present are not synonymous. Thinking is only a small aspect of being present. When you are fully present, you still use your thinking mind when needed, but in a much more focused and effective way than before.

In the state of being present, your mind is used mostly for practical purposes, while being free of the involuntary internal dialogue.

Being Present is Your Way Out of Pain

You must learn how not to create pain in the present.

The greater part of human pain is avoidable. It is self-created when the unobserved mind runs your life. The mind creates pain by constantly denying and resisting you from being present. You see, the mind, to ensure that it stays in control, seeks continuously to subdue the present moment with the past and future.

By ignoring or denying the present, an increasingly heavy weight of time (which is past and future) accumulates in the human mind. Everyone already suffers from this weight, but they also keep adding to it every moment whenever they avoid the present moment and reduce it to a means of getting to some future moment, which only exists in the mind, never in reality.

Because of this, the accumulation of time in the collective and individual human mind now holds a vast amount of residual pain from the past.

Being Present is All You Have

Yes, the present moment is sometimes unacceptable, unpleasant, or awful.

But it is what it is. Accept and then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.

Why being present is best for you.

If the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease. You cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief gaps when you obtained what you wanted. Or when a craving has just been fulfilled.

Life is available only in the present moment. If you abandon the present moment you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply – Thich Nhat Hanh

Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external things.

The egoic mind needs to be both defended and fed constantly. The most common ego identifications have to do with:

  • Possessions
  • Relationships
  • Belief systems
  • The work you do
  • Knowledge and education
  • Personal and family history
  • Social status and recognition
  • Physical appearance and special talents
  • Political, national and racial backgrounds
  • Religious and other collective identifications.

None of these is you.

Digging Deeper to Being Present

Don’t seek yourself in the mind.

Yes, you might feel that there is still a great deal you need to learn about the workings of your mind before you can be fully present.

The truth remains that the problems of the mind cannot be solved at the level of the mind. Once you have understood the basic dysfunction, there isn’t much else that you need to learn or understand.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. – Buddha

Once you recognise the root of not being present as identification with the mind, you step out of it. You become present. When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting trapped in it. The mind in itself is not dysfunctional.

The mind is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek yourself in it and mistake it for who you are. It then becomes the egoic mind and takes over your whole life.

Being Present is Understanding that Time is an Illusion

Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion.

What you perceive as precious is not time but the one thing that is out of time: Being Present. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time (past and future), the more you miss being present, the most precious thing there is.

Why is being present the most precious thing?

Firstly, because it is the only thing. It’s all there is. The eternal present is the space within which your whole life unfolds, the one factor that remains constant. The goal is to keep moving forward, not keep looking forward.

Secondly, being obsessed with time, instead of being present to accomplish your goals, is wrong.

Obsession with time introduces the pressure to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. The pressure arises because the past gives you an identity, and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfilment in whatever form. Both are illusions.

Nothing exists outside this present moment.

Have you ever experienced, done, thought, or felt anything when you are not present?

Do you think you ever will? Is it possible for anything to happen when you are not present? The answer is obvious, is it not?

Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened while being present.

Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen while being present.

What you think of as the past is a memory trace, stored in the mind, of a former state of being present. When you remember the past, you reactivate a memory trace, and you do so while being present.

The future is an imagined state of being present, a projection of the mind. When the future comes, it comes as you are present. When you think about the future, you do it while being present.

Past and future have no reality of their own. Just as a mirror has no image of its own, but can only reflect what stands before it, so are past and future only pale reflections of the light, power, and reality of the eternal present. Their reality is “mirrored” from being present.

Accessing the State of Being Present.

Make it your practice to withdraw attention from the past and future whenever they are not needed.

Step out of the time dimension as much as possible in everyday life. If you find it hard to be present directly, start by observing the habitual tendency of your mind to want to escape being present.

You will observe that the future is usually imagined as either better or worse than the present. If the imagined future is better, it gives you hope or pleasurable anticipation. If it is worse, it creates anxiety. Both are illusory.

The past is a narrative and the future is a fiction. The only absolute truth is here and now. – Naval Ravikant

Through self-observation, more presence comes into your life automatically.

The moment you realise you are not present, you are present. Whenever you can observe your mind, you are no longer trapped in it.

Once you can feel what it means to be present, it becomes much easier to simply choose to step out of the time dimension whenever time is not needed for practical purposes and dig deeper into being present.

This does not impair your ability to use time (past or future) when you need to refer to it for practical matters.

Nor does it impair your ability to use your mind. In fact, it enhances it. When you do use your mind, it will be sharper, more focused.

Letting Go of Psychological Time

Learn to use time in the practical aspects of your life (we can call this “clock time”) but immediately return to present-moment awareness when those practical matters have been dealt with.

In this way, there will be no build-up of “psychological time,” which is identification with the past and continuous compulsive projection into the future.

Clock time is not just about making an appointment or planning a trip.

It includes learning from the past so that we don’t repeat the same mistakes. Setting goals and working toward them. Predicting the future through patterns and laws, physical, mathematical and so on, learned from the past and taking appropriate action based on our predictions.

But even here, within the sphere of practical living, where we cannot do without reference to past and future, the present moment remains the essential factor.

Any lesson from the past becomes relevant and is applied now. Any planning as well as working toward achieving a particular goal is done now.

All you need are these: certainty of judgment in the present moment: action for the common good in the present moment; and an attitude of gratitude in the present moment for anything that comes your way. – Marcus Aurelius

Your focus of attention must always be in the mode of being present, but you are still peripherally aware of time.

Use clock time but be free of psychological time.

Be alert as you practice this so that you do not unconsciously transform clock time into psychological time.

For example, if you made a mistake in the past and learn from it now, you are using clock time. On the other hand, if you dwell on it mentally, and self-criticism, remorse, or guilt come up, then you are making the mistake into “me” and “mine”: you make it part of your sense of self, and it has become psychological time, which is always linked to a false sense of identity.

If you set yourself a goal and work toward it, you are using clock time. You are aware of where you want to go, but you honour and give your fullest attention to the step that you are taking at this moment. If you then become excessively focused on the goal, perhaps because you are seeking happiness, fulfilment, or a more complete sense of self in it, your state of being present is no longer honoured. It becomes reduced to a mere stepping stone to the future, with no intrinsic value.

Clock time then turns into psychological time. Your life’s journey is no longer an adventure, just an obsessive need to arrive, to attain, to “make it.” You no longer see or smell the flowers by the wayside either, nor are you aware of the beauty and the miracle of life that unfolds all around you when being present.

The Joy of Being Present

To know if you’re getting caught up in worrying about the past or future, ask yourself this simple question: Am I enjoying what I’m doing right now? Does it feel easy and light?

If your answer is no, then time is covering up the present moment, and you currently perceive life as a burden or a struggle.

When this happens, do not be concerned with the result of your action. Just give attention to the action itself. The result will come on its own.

The moment your attention turns to you being present, you feel a presence, a stillness, a peace. You no longer depend on the future for fulfilment and satisfaction. You don’t look to it for salvation. Therefore, you are not attached to the results.

When being present is your default state, how can you not succeed? You have succeeded already.

How The Mind Plans to Avoid Being Present

The best indicator of your degree of being present is how you deal with life’s challenges when they come.

Through those challenges, an already absent person tends to become more deeply absent, and a present person more intensely present.

You can use a challenge to awaken you, or you can allow it to pull you into even deeper sleep.

For instance, if you cannot be present even in normal circumstances, such as when you are sitting alone in a room, or listening to someone, then you certainly won’t be able to stay present when something “goes wrong” or you are faced with difficult people or situations, with loss or the threat of loss.

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it. – Thich Nhat Hanh

You will be taken over by a reaction, which ultimately is always some form of fear, and pulled into deep absence. Those challenges are your tests.

Your level of being Present isn’t measured by how long you can meditate or what spiritual experiences you have. It’s shown by how you handle everyday situations and challenges.

Always watch out for Anxiety

Make it a habit to monitor your mental-emotional state through self-observation.

‘Am I at ease at this moment?” is a good question to ask yourself frequently.

Or you can ask: “What’s going on inside me at this moment?”

Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside.

If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality is within, secondary reality without.

But don’t answer these questions immediately. Direct your attention inward. Have a look inside yourself.

What kind of thoughts is your mind producing? What do you feel?

Direct your attention to the body. Is there any tension?

Once you detect that there is a low level of unease, the background static, see in what way you are avoiding, resisting, or denying life. Examine how you are denying yourself from being present.

There are many ways in which people unconsciously resist the present moment: Negativity, unhappiness, complaining and worry.

But the important point is this.

Wherever you are, be there totally.

See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather.

To complain is always a non-acceptance of what it is. It perpetually carries an unconscious negative charge.

When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power.

So, change the situation by acting or by speaking out if necessary or possible. Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.

If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options:

  • Remove yourself from the situation
  • Change it, or
  • Accept it.

If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. Keep your inner space clear.

OPTION 1 or 2: REMOVING OR CHANGING YOUR SITUATION

If you take any action, whether it’s leaving or changing your situation, drop the negativity first, if possible.

Action arising out of insight into what is required is more effective than action arising out of negativity. Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time.

If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.

What if fear is preventing you from acting?

Acknowledge the fear. Watch it and pay attention to it. Be fully present with it.

Doing so cuts the link between fear and your thinking. Don’t let the fear rise into pour mind. Use the power of being present. Fear cannot prevail against it.

OPTION 3: ACCEPTING YOUR SITUATION

If there is truly nothing that you can do to change your present situation, and you can’t remove yourself from it, then accept your here and now totally by dropping all inner resistance.

Get rid of the false, unhappy self that loves feeling miserable, resentful, or sorry for itself. This is called surrender. Surrender is not weakness.

Through surrender, you will be free internally of the situation. You may then find that the situation changes without any effort on your part. In any case, you are free.

Or is there something that you “should” be doing but are not doing it? Get up and do it now. Alternatively, completely accept your inactivity, laziness, or passivity at this moment, if that is your choice. Go into it fully. Enjoy it. Be as lazy or inactive as you can.

If you go into it while being present, you will soon come out of it. Or maybe you won’t. Either way, there is no inner conflict, no resistance, no negativity.

Stress as a Mind’s Strategy to Avoid Being Present

Are you stressed? Are you so busy getting to the future that the present is reduced to a means of getting there?

Stress is caused by being “here” but wanting to be “there,” or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It’s a divide that tears you apart inside. To create and live with such an inner divide is insane. The fact that everyone else is doing it doesn’t make it any less insane.

You can move fast, work fast, or even run, without projecting yourself into the future and without resisting the present. When you move, work, or run, do it totally. Enjoy the flow of energy, the high energy of that moment.

Now you are no longer stressed, no longer dividing yourself in two. Just moving, running, working, and enjoying it.

Or you can drop the whole thing and sit on a park bench. But when you do, watch your mind. It may say: “You should be working. You are wasting time.” Observe the mind. Smile at it.

The Past and Waiting for the Future is also a Plan of the Mind to Avoid the Present

Die to the past every moment.

You don’t need it. Only refer to it when it is absolutely relevant to the present. Feel the power of this moment and be fully present.

To face the future, ask yourself what “problem” you have right now.

Not next year, tomorrow, or five minutes from now. What is wrong with this moment? You can always cope with being present, but you can never cope with the future, nor do you have to.

The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when you need it, not before, not after.

I always live in the present. The future I can’t know. The past I no longer have. – Fernando Pessoa

Or is your goal taking up so much of your attention that you reduce the present moment to a means to an end?

Is it taking the joy out of what you’re doing? Are you waiting to start living? If you develop such a mind pattern, no matter what you achieve or get, the present will never be good enough; the future will always seem better.

Don’t you agree that this is a perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction and nonfulfillment?

Are you a habitual “waiter”?

How much of your life do you spend waiting?

What I call “small-scale waiting” is waiting in line at the ATM, in a traffic jam, at the airport, or waiting for someone to arrive, to finish work, and so on.

“Large-scale waiting” is waiting for the next vacation, for a better job, for the children to grow up, for a truly meaningful relationship, for success, to make money, to be important, to become enlightened.

It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole lives waiting to start living.

Waiting is a state of mind. It means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be.

This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.

Please note that there is nothing wrong with striving to improve your life situation.

You can improve your life situation, but you cannot improve your life.

Life is primary. While your life is already whole, complete, and perfect, your life situation consists of your circumstances and your experiences.

There is nothing wrong with setting goals and striving to achieve things. The mistake lies in using it as a substitute for the feeling of life.

The only point of access for that is by being present.

There is nothing wrong with setting goals and striving to achieve things. The mistake lies in using it as a substitute for the feeling of life.

Discovering the Inner Purpose of Life’s Journey

When you are on a journey, it is certainly helpful to know where you are going or at least the general direction in which you are moving.

But don’t forget: the only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That’s all there ever is.

Whatever you need to know about the unconscious past in you, the challenges of the present will bring it out. If you delve into the past, it will become a bottomless pit: There is always more.

You may think that you need more time to understand the past or become free of it, in other words, that the future will eventually free you of the past. This is a delusion.

Only the present can free you from the past. More time cannot free you of time. Focus on being present. That is the key.

This is the real secret of life—to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play. – Alan Watts

You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You find yourself by coming into the present.

So don’t seek to understand the past, but be as present as you can. The past cannot survive in your presence. It can only survive in your absence.

Recognise Your State of Presence

To stay present in everyday life, it helps to be deeply rooted within yourself. Otherwise, the mind, which has incredible momentum, will drag you along like a wild river.

To be rooted within yourself means to inhabit your body fully. Always have some attention on the inner energy field of your body. To feel the body from within, so to speak.

Body awareness keeps you present. It anchors you in the state of being present.

The Secret Meaning of Waiting

In a sense, the state of presence could be compared to waiting.

This is not the usual boring or restless kind of waiting that is a denial of the present, and that I spoke about already.

It is not a waiting in which your attention is focused on some point in the future,e and the present is perceived as an undesirable obstacle that prevents you from having what you want.

In that state, all your attention is in being present. There is none left for daydreaming, thinking, remembering or anticipating.

There is no tension in it, no fear, just alert presence. You are fully present with your whole being, with every cell of your body. In that state, the “you” that has a past and a future, the personality if you like, is hardly there anymore.

You are also to be like people who are waiting for their master when he returns from the wedding feast, so that they may immediately open the door for him when he comes and knocks. Luke 12:36

And yet nothing of value is lost.

You are still essentially yourself. You are more fully yourself than you ever were before, or rather it is only now that you are truly yourself.

End Drama and Conflict in Your Life Forever

When you live in complete acceptance of what is, that is the end of all drama in your life.

Nobody can even argue with you, no matter how hard he or she try. You cannot argue with a fully present person.

When you are fully present, you cease to be in conflict.

Being Present is Accepting what is

There are cycles of success, when things come to you and thrive, and cycles of failure, when they wither or disintegrate.

If you cling and resist at that point of these cycles, it means you are refusing to go with the flow of life, and you will suffer.

Instead, offer no resistance to life.

To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness.

This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life tend to improve greatly.

Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them (while they last)

All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.

Understand the Meaning of Surrender and You Will Understand Why Being Present is All You Need

There is an important concept I must address before I let you go and focus on being present.

Based on what you have read so far, it seems If we always accept the way things are, we are not going to make any effort to improve them. After all, both in our personal lives and collectively, progress is all about choosing not to accept the limitations of the present but to strive to go beyond them and create something better.

How do we then reconcile surrender with changing things and getting things done?

Here is the truth: to some people, surrender may have negative connotations, implying defeat, giving up, failing to rise to the challenges of life, becoming lethargic, and so on.

True surrender, however, is something entirely different.

It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action.

Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life. The only way where you can experience the flow of life is by being present, so surrendering is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation. It is to relinquish inner resistance to what is.

Inner resistance is to say “no” to what is, through mental judgment and emotional negativity.

Being Present is All You Need

For instance, if you find your life situation unsatisfactory or even intolerable, it is only by surrendering first that you can break the unconscious resistance pattern that perpetuates that situation.

Surrender is perfectly compatible with acting, initiating change or achieving goals. But in the surrendered state, a different energy, a different quality, flows into your actions.  In the state of surrender, you see very clearly what needs to be done, and you act, doing one thing at a time and focusing on one thing at a time.

You must live in the present… Find your eternity in each moment. – Henry David Thoreau

If your overall situation is unsatisfactory or unpleasant, separate this instant and surrender to what is. That’s the flashlight cutting through the fog. Your degree of presence then ceases to be controlled by external conditions. You are no longer coming from reaction and resistance.

Then look at the specifics of the situation.

Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do to change the situation, improve it, or remove myself from it?”

If so, you take appropriate action. Focus not on the 100 things that you will or may have to do at some future time but on the one thing that you can do now.

This doesn’t mean you should not do any planning. It may well be that planning is the one thing you can do now. But make sure you don’t start to run “mental movies,” project yourself into the future, and so lose being present.

Any action you take may not bear fruit immediately. Until it does, do not resist what is. If there is no action you can take, and you cannot remove yourself from the situation either, then use the situation to make you go more deeply into surrender, more deeply into being present.

Surrender is not Indifference

Do not confuse surrender with an attitude of “I can’t be bothered anymore” or “I just don’t care anymore.”

If you look at it closely, you will find that such an attitude is tainted with negativity in the form of hidden resentment, and so is not surrender at all but masked resistance. As you surrender, direct your attention inward to check if there is any trace of resistance left inside you. Be very alert when you do so. Otherwise, a pocket of resistance may continue to hide in some dark corner in the form of a thought or an unacknowledged emotion.

Surrender is how you change the world

You may be in a situation at work that is unpleasant.

You have tried to surrender to it, but you find it impossible. A lot of resistance keeps coming up.

If you cannot surrender, act immediately. Speak up or do something to bring about a change in the situation. Or remove yourself from it. Take responsibility for your life.

If you looked in the mirror and did not like what you saw, you would have to be mad to attack the image in the mirror. That is precisely what you do when you are in a state of nonacceptance.

And, of course, if you attack the image, it attacks you back. If you accept the image, no matter what it is, if you become friendly toward it, it becomes friendly toward you, too.

This is how you change the world.

You Have the Power to Choose

Nobody chooses dysfunction, conflict, or pain.

Nobody chooses insanity. They happen because there is not enough presence in you to dissolve the past, not enough light to dispel the darkness.

You are not fully here. You have not quite woken up yet.

In the meantime, the conditioned mind is running your life.

It always looks as if people have a choice, but that is an illusion. If your mind, with its conditioned pattern,s runs your life, if you are your mind, what choice do you have? None.

You are not even there. The mind-identified state is severely dysfunctional. It is a form of insanity. Almost everyone is suffering from this illness in varying degrees. The moment you realise this, there can be no more resentment. How can you resent someone’s illness? The only appropriate response is compassion.

Most importantly, when you surrender to what is and so become fully present, the past ceases to have any power. You do not need it anymore. Being Present is the key.

And how will you know when you have surrendered, and you are being present all the time?

When you no longer need to ask this question.

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Obsession: 5 Steps to Peak Performance

Obsession is your most powerful lever for achievement, when it’s wielded with intention.

After interviewing ultra-successful individuals for decades, Joe Rogan observed a single trait in all of them. Everyone who is good at something is obsessed with it. They think and talk about that thing all the time. Obsession is the only way you can be great at something.

In simple terms, fleeting enthusiasm rarely moves the needle.

The Problem:

Most people are comfortable, making casual efforts which bring out casual results.

In a world full of distractions, they will always find plausible reasons to scroll, snooze, or switch tasks. This means they stop when things get inconvenient, not when the job is done. Even if they “finish” things, these tasks don’t matter.

Plenty of people work hard but few of them leave a mark.

Marc Andreessen has a famous quote on how to tackle this problem.

“The world is a very malleable place. If you know what you want, and you go for it with maximum energy and drive and passion, the world will often reconfigure itself around you much more quickly and easily than you would think.”

The Solution is Obsession

Become obsessed with whatever you are working on.

You risk being mediocre in a world that rewards obsession. Here is what happens you don’t have obsession:

  • Your goals take longer to achieve or never materialize because you are not obsessed to make consistent efforts.
  • If you’re not deeply engaged, your work will lack excellence or innovation.
  • Habits like distraction or avoidance become ingrained in your life over time.

Obsession

The key isn’t vague motivation but a clear, five-part framework you can put to work today:

  1. Define a compelling mission that pulls you forward
  2. Build routines and environments that lock in focus
  3. Establish a deliberate learning system to sharpen your skills
  4. Anticipate and overcome the pitfalls that derail most people and
  5. Measure your progress to keep the momentum alive.

Follow these steps, and you’ll turn raw enthusiasm into a structured, sustainable obsession that drives real results.

I will explain these steps in detail below, but you must first understand why obsession is important.

Why Obsession Matters

Firstly, Obsession doesn’t mean burnout.

There’s a difference between a healthy obsession and its destructive counterpart. Healthy obsession can mean 90 – 120 minutes of laser focus with two 5-minute breaks. Meanwhile, destructive obsession states you constantly need to skip sleep and social life.

Obsession doesn’t mean you ignore your family, health, or rest.

It means you care deeply. And you show up consistently for what matters most. Obsession is having intense focus during work periods while maintaining boundaries and other life priorities.

There are so many famous people who adopted this form of obsession and stayed at the top of their fields.

CASE STUDY #1: Serena Williams (Obsession with Excellence)

Serena won 23 Grand Slam titles, the most by any tennis player in the Open Era.

From age 3, Serena engaged in training drills for hours. Even during pregnancy, she trained and returned to win Grand Slams. Yet she openly prioritized motherhood and rest, setting boundaries around her career.

Obsession made Serena unstoppable.

CASE STUDY #2: Steve Jobs (Obsession with Simplicity & Design)

Steve made Apple one of the most iconic companies in history and transformed consumer tech forever.

He cared about every detail. From fonts, colors, to packaging. Yet, Steve took long walks to think, set clear boundaries with staff, and valued zen simplicity.

With obsession, Steve Jobs created insanely great products.

CASE STUDY #3: Marie Curie (Obsession with Scientific Discovery)

Marie won two Nobel Prizes in Physics and Chemistry for her work on radioactivity.

She worked with extraordinary dedication in her laboratory, often for 12+ hours daily in dangerous conditions. Marie still balanced this phase with her family life, raised two daughters and maintained close relationships.

Obsession made Marie Curie successful in science and family.

CASE STUDY #4: Jesus Christ (Obsession with His Mission)

Jesus was laser-focused on His divine mission: to seek and save the lost.

He worked from dawn to dusk healing, preaching, and mentoring his disciples. Yet Jesus regularly withdrew for prayer, and maintained close friendships. He also took time for meals and rest with his inner circle.

With obsession, Jesus changed the course of human history and built the most enduring spiritual movement.

Develop a Healthy Obsession

Now that you see how legendary figures harnessed obsession, let’s break down exactly how you can build the same momentum in your own life.

Five Steps to Obsession

To have obsession is to develop intense focus during your work periods while maintaining broader life priorities.

And once you become obsessed, you can reach the top of your field.

This leads to step one.

Step 1: A Compelling Mission

Obsession begins with Clarity.

Choose a goal that excites you deeply, emotionally charged and meaningful.

Jesus had the “Kingdom of God.” Musk has “multi-planetary civilization.”

Why obsess over something if it doesn’t truly matter?

Write down what you want and why it deeply matters.

An example can be: Having 100,000 Dollars in investments to achieve financial freedom and build stability.

Step 2: A Designed Routine

Obsession shows up in your calendar.

Block out specific, distraction-free time daily or weekly for deep work on your mission.

Serena Williams cut non-tennis activities during training seasons.

Also, build rituals. Make it as simple as possible.

Use the same time, same place and the same tools.

An example can be: Every Sunday evening, do a quick budget review to track income, expenses and progress towards your mission. Use 2 Hours every morning to develop your highest-leverage skill

Step 3: A Learning System

Obsession thrives on mastery.

Create a method for continuous skill development within your focused time.

Kobe Bryant watched hours of game footage. Chimamanda Adichie studied great writers.

This can be deliberate practice routines, regular feedback from mentors, tracking specific metrics. Or it can be studying the work of masters in your field.

Build a system that makes learning inevitable. Books, podcasts, mentorships, courses. Stack them around your goal.

Set a learning schedule. Don’t just work, get smarter.

An example can be: Listening to one podcast on personal finance during your commute and reading two chapters of a money book every week.

Step 4: A Daily Obsession Feed

What you feed grows. What you starve dies.

Read, listen, and think about your mission daily.

Jesus withdrew to pray daily. Steve Jobs walked to think clearly.

Surround yourself with content, people, and habits that reinforce your mission.

Your obsession must be visible. On your wall. In your phone. In your thoughts.

Create rituals that keep the fire burning, even when motivation fades.

An example can be: 10 minutes daily reading on making money and investing. Watch an inspiring video every morning to maintain an abundance mindset.

Step 5: A Feedback Loop

Obsession without direction becomes burnout.

Schedule regular periods (weekly and monthly) to step back and assess your progress on your mission

Marie Curie published findings early to stay driven. Jesus often did Q&A with His disciples to make sure they understood his teachings.

Ask yourself – What moved the needle in your mission? What didn’t?

Also track inputs, not just your outcomes (e.g. hours worked, pages written, user interviews).

Reflection is the compass that turns obsession into elevation.

An example can be: Reviewing your finances every Sunday night: How much you saved, what you spent on, and how it aligns with your freedom goal.

Five Steps to Obsession

Staying Obsessed Leads to Your Highest Self

Obsession isn’t a flaw. It’s a fast track to your highest self.

When you’re obsessed, you gain clarity about who you are and what truly matters. It forces you to grow and raise your standards. Obsession demands depth and that depth reveals strengths, talents, and power you didn’t know you had.

So, stay obsessed, not for perfection, but for transformation.

Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

  1. Become Your Highest Self: Every Sunday, I share actionable tips from successful people on how to master money, mindset and meaning. Please confirm your subscription via mail so the newsletter goes straight into your inbox.
  2. Fast Track Book: Stay relevant, master new skills, and be ready for whatever life throws at you.  This is the complete roadmap to speed up your learning process and expand the opportunities available to you. Available on Amazon.
  3. Personal Wealth Maximizer: Take control of your finances and build financial freedom. The Personal Wealth Maximizer give you the exact knowledge and tools to break free from money struggles and build financial confidence.

 

Father Figure: 5 Traits That Define True Fatherhood

The diaries of the family of a famous politician from the 18th Century were discovered.

In one of the entries, a father and his son went on a fishing trip and wrote their experience in their diaries.

For that day’s entry, the father wrote: “Went fishing with my son, a day wasted.”

For that same day’s entry, the son wrote: “Went fishing with my father today, the most glorious day of my life.”

This striking contrast reveals a profound truth.

The Role of a Father extends far beyond Biology.

Becoming a father is often grounded in a biological role. He is the male who contributes genetic material (sperm) that combines with an egg to create children.

But as time goes on, the role of fatherhood then extends to adoptive, or social responsibility for raising and caring for a child.

This means there are different types of fathers.

Biological fathers, adoptive fathers, stepfathers, foster fathers, spiritual fathers. At the heart of these roles lies the profound original model: The Father Figure.

Becoming, or having, a father figure… This is where the real work is.

And I will explain why.

Who is a Father Figure?

A Father Figure represent the original image of fatherhood that transcends biological connection.

They embody the fundamental qualities and roles that define true paternal guidance. Father figures protect and provide not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically.

They embody mentorship, helping younger ones navigate life’s complexities through direct instruction and modelling.

Most importantly, a Father Figure reveals fatherhood as a profound responsibility rather than merely a genetic relationship.

There is much to learn from these figures and how to identify them in your life.

Speaking of learning, one of the modern era’s most insightful singer-songwriters, Jon Bellion, recently released an album titled ‘Father Figure.’ This album is a promise to his sons, echoing the devotion shown by those who shaped him.

Throughout this article, I’ll use some of his powerful lyrics to illustrate the key traits of a true Father Figure.

Stay with me on this.

The Five Traits of a Father Figure

Whether examining earthly relationships or divine guidance, a father figure consistently exhibits five fundamental traits:

Provision. Presence. Patience. Perseverance. Protection.

Let’s break it down.

  1. Provision

If you’re in his way, then I’m on my way, oh

Don’t shoot that boy down, He stays in the clouds (Hе does)

– Jon Bellion, DON’T SHOOT.

​

A father figure provides before you even know what you need.

He works long hours, skips comforts, and shows up consistently. Your earthly father figures may not have everything, but they give everything they have to those in their care. They know that provision goes beyond money and things – they also give time, attention, and love.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19

God, our heavenly Father, provides even more. He gives us breath, purpose, and grace every day. Divine provision shows us that God gives us everything we need, even when we don’t deserve it.

With a Father Figure, you feel safe because someone considers your needs before you even voice them.

  1. Presence

Lord, it’s tough to hold my son and be here in the moment.

I need to keep him safe, tell me which direction this world is going…

He said a present father is worth way more than a perfect dad

– Jon Bellion, MY BOY

Being there means more than just showing up in the same room.

Earthly fathers who truly understand presence put down their phones, look into their children’s eyes, and listen. They show up because they know their attention is a gift.

A Father Figure create memories by simply being fully there in each moment.

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17

God’s presence is even closer and surpasses this earthly model. He never leaves, even when the world feels quiet. Our Heavenly Father reminds us we are never truly alone, even in our darkest times.

Because some of the best love is felt, not spoken.

  1. Patience

So can we decide
That we’ll give this one more try?
And we’ll get it right, yeah, we’ll get it right this time

– Jon Bellion, GET IT RIGHT

A father is patient even when you mess up again and again.

He doesn’t yell when you drop the ball; instead, he helps you pick it back up. Earthly fathers try to guide gently. They know growth takes time.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:9

God exemplifies perfect patience. He waits for us when we drift and welcomes us back with open arms. His patience with us shows perfect love that never gives up, even when we mess up again and again.

Real love doesn’t give up when progress is slow.

  1. Perseverance

If the higher I fly is the further I fall

Then why love anything at all?

– Jon Bellion, WHY

A father figure never gives up, no matter how hard things get.

On earth, father figures continue to love, guide, and support even when it feels like nothing is working. These fathers understand that raising children is a marathon, not a sprint. They stay committed for the long journey.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23

God’s love never stops chasing us, even when we run the other way. His perseverance teaches us that His love endures through every season of our lives.

The strength of a Father Figure becomes most evident when he refuses to walk away.

  1. Protection

If less of me will give you more, I’m strangling my pride

Light of my life, lay down my life

– Jon Bellion, RICH AND BROKE

A father’s ultimate responsibility is to keep his children safe from harm.

Earthly fathers protect their kids from physical danger, but they also guard their hearts and minds from things that could hurt them. They create safe homes where children can grow without fear. Good fathers build walls around what’s harmful while opening doors to what’s good and right.

A Father Figure protects with his hands, hearts, and hard choices.

“The Lord is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” – Psalm 91:2

God protects your soul. He covers us in battles we can’t even see. Divine protection reminds us that we have a heavenly Father who watches over us every moment.

Because love instinctively guards the ones it treasures.

How Father Figures Create Lasting Impact

The fishing trip anecdote that opened this email discussion illustrates the powerful difference perspective makes in father-child relationships.

While one saw a wasted day, the other experienced life’s greatest joy.

This contrast must remind you that becoming or recognising a Father Figure (whether in yourself or others) requires intentional commitment to these five essential traits.

When someone embodies the role of Father Figure, they unlock the ability to shape destinies and build confidence in those they guide.

Through provision, presence, patience, perseverance, and protection, these remarkable individuals create ripple effects that strengthen families, communities, and future generations.

Who in your life embodies these qualities? Take a moment to appreciate them.

And consider how you might cultivate these ‘Father Figure’ traits in your interactions.

Cheers.

Zamai.

Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

  1. Become Your Highest Self: Every Sunday, I share actionable tips from successful people on how to master money, mindset and meaning. Please confirm your subscription via mail so the newsletter goes straight into your inbox.
  2. Fast Track Book: Stay relevant, master new skills, and be ready for whatever life throws at you.  This is the complete roadmap to speed up your learning process and expand the opportunities available to you. Available on Amazon.
  3. Personal Wealth Maximizer: Take control of your finances and build financial freedom. The Personal Wealth Maximizer give you the exact knowledge and tools to break free from money struggles and build financial confidence.