Life Archives - Zamai Banje

Tag: Life (page 1 of 4)

September 29, 2024

Friendships: The Ultimate Life Hack for Mental Health Challenges

Friendships are the ultimate life hacks to solve stress, anxiety, and even addiction.

One of the greatest thinkers of our time – Simon Sinek said the above statement and it blew my mind.

Why was friendship the ultimate hack? How does it solve mental health challenges?

Simon explains how in a conversation with Trevor Noah. I am sharing his thoughts with you here:

The Sacrifice of Friendship for Success

When we say we have sacrificed something for our career. We should not be afraid to put a name to who that sacrifice was. Because often time, it was the people in our lives that we call friends.

Your friends will be there for you. Your work won’t.

Friendships

Are you a Good Friend?

You usually make friends from school, work, church and other gatherings.

And then you let the location and time influence these friendships. This means you are unable to keep and maintain your friendships when you are not close to them. Please don’t leave your friendship to coincidence.

But to be a good friend, you have to ask yourself these questions.

Have you sacrificed a meeting to hang out with a friend? Do you call your friends on their birthday and sing them happy birthday? Or do you just put a thing on social media saying happy birthday because you saw everybody else put it on social media.

When a friend is depressed, do you go over to their house, sit, watch movies, eat ice cream all day and be depressed with them?

Have you told your friend – I love you? Not love you or love ya? But I love you. The way you know these things matter is how it made you feel when these things were done to you.

How to Keep and Maintain Friendships

Trevor Noah narrates a story:

“I was on a trip to Greece a few years ago. If you’ve ever been to any of these places where people are on boats and having a great time in the water, it hypnotizes you. Then I turned to one of the Greek guys I was with, and I said Nick,

If I was trying to get a boat, what boat should I get?

I’ll never forget this… His friend jumped in, and he said:

Trevor Noah, let me tell you something – the best boat is your friend’s boat.

It was a joke that had so many layers because if you own a boat there’s a lot of stress. You don’t want to own a boat unless you really love boats. But the thing I found profound was this.

Everybody who has a boat needs friends to be on that boat with them. And if everybody works to get the boat no one has time to have friends to come on the boat with them. Every boat I know is full of friends who are on that boat.”

Trevor Noah’s message is simple. Work on your friendship so you enjoy your best moments better together.

The Power of Asking for Help

We don’t build trust by offering help. You build trust by asking for it.

If someone is your friend especially if they have been there for you, don’t be selfish to deny them the honor of allowing your friends to be there for you. The reverse should happen too.

This is when you know a friend is a friend.

Friendship vs. Success: Prioritizing People Over Work

Finding the balance between friendship and success is a bit difficult in today’s times.

In our society, it is possible to show up as a family person. You can show up as a CEO. Showing up as a president is also possible.

Yet society does not deem it nice or important to show up as a friend. The society does not prioritize friendships.

You must have noticed it is more remarkable to have an amazing experience with someone than by yourself. When you say, “look what I did” versus “do you remember that time we did that”. The latter is a better feeling than the former.

How Ignoring Friendships affects Romantic Relationships

There is a big and underrated lesson here.

Abandoning or ignoring friendships has affected romantic relationships. Because people have now shifted all the expectations, the support, the love gotten from a community of friends to one person. We have abandoned those outside places and asking our partners to be everything all the time always.

This is an unreasonable and unfair standard to put on someone. Or to be put on you as well.

What does it all mean?

I like how Trevor Noah concludes their conversation with this adage:

A person is a person only because of the people. I guess King Solomon already knew this because he said it twice:

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

That’s all. I hope this helps

Wishing you the best of friendships.

This email was an excerpt from a conversation between Simon Sinek and Trevor Noah. You can watch the full conversation here

May 12, 2024 / 1 Comment

Buckle Up: Everything is Just a Skill Issue

Till now I still dread the term – Buckle up because I have always been a creative at heart.

I loved the thought of creating something from scratch, putting it up for display, people come to buy what I create and I don’t have to worry about money.

Naturally, as a child I learnt to draw cartoon characters and write essays and short stories. As I got older, I studied things like graphic design, content writing and photography.

Although I learned a lot from these things, they never really helped me financially.

More specifically, I wanted to do my own thing but was unable to monetize my creativity.

It’s not because I was not skilled enough, it’s because I didn’t stack other skills that would allow me to make money and experience freedom. I was just a man-child who wanted to watch anime and read books for a living while expecting that my money problems solved themselves miraculously.

I will talk about my full story in a subsequent article, but for now, just know that this approach did not work out.

I had to swallow a pride and get a job.

But there is a profound lesson I learned which is still valuable today:

Lesson: Anything and everything can be learned.

Buckle Up: Everything is a Skill Issue

Everything is a skill Issue

Buckle up is often used as an interjection or exclamation to infer that an event is about to be exciting, unexpected, dangerous or even troubling. In real time, it simply meant – Things are about to get serious.

As time goes on, I am realizing that a person’s life changes when they realize everything is a skill.

The goal you currently strive for is just a couple of skills you must learn and build.

Discipline is a skill.

Patience is a skill.

Being funny is a skill.

Socializing is a skill.

Making Money is a skill.

Saving money is a skill.

Being good at anything is a skill.

Everything now depends on your skillset.

What are Skills?

A skill is your ability to do something well.

I love how wild_stoic puts it – “Skills are not magical words that you either do or don’t have. They are things that you build through repetition.” This makes it simple to understand because repetition leads to Mastery.

And mastery leads to the fulfillment of your goal.

How to Turn Anything to a Skill You Can Master

This framework is in 3 steps:

Step 1: Break it into Chunks and Daily Tasks:

Chunking is a phenomenon where a task is split into smaller units for easy doing.

To begin chunking, ask yourself:

What is the smallest single element of this skill that I can master?
What other chunks link to that chunk?

Practice one chunk by itself until you’ve mastered it. Then connect more chunks, one by one, exactly as you would combine letters to form a word. Then combine those chunks into still bigger chunks. And so on.

Go a step further by creating a daily action.

Which daily task would you need to complete in order to make noticeable, progressive progress in your selected skill?

Step 2: Execute with 30 for 30 or with Deep Work.

I learned this execution step from Sahil Bloom (He is a great guy you can check out as well):

a. 30-for-30: Do the daily task for 30 minutes per day for 30 straight days. 30 days is meaningful enough as a commitment that you can’t be half-in, but 30 minutes is short enough that you can convince yourself to take it on. 900 minutes of effort in a single month is enough to create tangible progress that will keep you pushing forward. This is my favored approach for getting started on any new area of progress.

b. Deep Work: Deep work means carving out 1-2 blocks of time per day when you will enter a deeply focused state to make progress against your area of choice. These blocks are generally 1-2 hours for most people and should be completed without distraction. This is the favored strategy for big professional goals.

Sahil also recommends that you start with 30-for-30 and then transition to Deep Work after a few months if you feel motivated and energized to go harder.

Step 3: Teach Others What You are Learning.

The ultimate test of your knowledge is your capacity to transfer it to another.

You can use the Feynman Technique to buckle up when seeing everything as a skill issue. The Feynman Technique is a simple and popular way of teaching others while developing mastery over your newly acquired skill. There are four steps to his method.

Teach your skill in its simplest form.
Identify gaps in your explanation. Go back to the source material to better understand it.
Organize and simplify your information.
Transmit and Transfer till the other person understands it.

But remember, do before you teach or share with others.

It Only Gets Better From Here On

When you see things from this angle, I strongly believe you can do anything you want if you practice it enough. You no longer have an excuse not to do anything.

Infact, you can do everything.

I hope this makes sense. Again, buckle up and see everything as a skill issue.

May 5, 2024

All Hits No Misses: A Review

All hits. No misses. 17 articles in total written in 2024 so far.

So here is the list:

JANUARY 2024:

FOCUS: How to Keep Accomplishing Tasks Until You are Successful

To always accomplish your tasks and activities successfully, the ability to be composed, clear-headed and cool even under pressure is what will separate you from the non-doers. You must practice being able to focus.

Learn how to stay focused, avoid distractions and keep moving forward till you accomplish your tasks.

A Solution to Always Complete Your Goals

You need consistency. Consistency helps you get better at things. When you consistently work towards a goal, you are more likely to succeed. It’s like taking small steps every day towards something big.

Learn what you need to be consistent and always accomplish any goal you have.

Is it Time to Change Your Attitude?

Your mindset can empower or hold you back. This means you must always choose the mindset that serve you best. The right mindset leaves room for curiosity and innovation. With the right mindset, you’re more willing to learn and try new things, leading to personal and professional growth.

Learn how you can have a resilient attitude that you can be proud of.

Master the Art of Deep Work This Year

Think of deep work as your brain’s ultimate gym. It’s about getting into “the zone,” where hours melt away and you emerge with a masterpiece, a new skill conquered, or a problem cracked wide open. When pursuing your goals, it’s not just about working hard, it’s about working deeply.

Learn how to enter and master the art of deep work.

FEBRUARY 2024:

The Best Way to Handle People

Over 30 million copies of “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” have been sold worldwide, and even recommended by Warren Buffet. Carnegie’s book is full of timeless wisdom and insights that you can use to bring out the best in your relationships.

In the first section of the book, Carnegie shared the fundamental techniques in handling people. He also narrates stories of people who achieved extraordinary progress in their businesses, politics, and career. Because they applied these methods to bring out the best in their relationships.

This article shows you the main techniques, so you don’t have to spend hours studying his book. Or tens of other relationship books.

How to Make People Like You

Your happiness and success at work can be strongly influenced by how well-liked you are by others.

People that are likable are regularly better at influencing others—whether it’s convincing coworkers, winning over ideas, or boosting team spirit. Stronger, deeper connections with others can also be nurtured by your likability, and this results in sustaining friendships and partnerships.

This article shows you the four quick ways to make people like you.

Always Win People Over With These Techniques

You can build stronger relationships with friends, family, and coworkers when you can convince people of your points of view and effectively convey them. Gaining the ability to comprehend diverse viewpoints and communicate effectively can help you grow personally. This in turn boosts your flexibility, empathy, and critical thinking.

This article shows the principles you can apply to always win people over to your side.

How to Truly Change People as a Leader

The role of a leader is to coach, guide and inspire others. To perform this role excellently, a leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. And there are mistakes you must avoid in performing this role of positively influencing people for good.

These suggestions shared in the article are from the famous book – How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

MARCH 2024:

What It Means to Productize Yourself

Productizing yourself means that you must figure out what you’re uniquely good at and apply as much leverage as possible. It’s like taking the best of what you are and packaging it in a way that creates value for others. This concept is common in entrepreneurship, freelancing, consulting, and personal branding.

Read this article to apply this concept to yourself today.

Always Maintain a Main Character Energy

Getting through your work and doing your job (or business) to make money is a multi-player game you are currently engaged in. However, your mindset and how happy or miserable you are – this is entirely up to you. Because Life itself is a single-player game. And you are the main character.

Read this article to reflect on what it means to be a main character.

How to Fall in Love with Reading

By embracing the joy of reading, you unlock a world of knowledge and empower yourself to excel in all aspects of life. Reading also enhances your writing skills and communication abilities. And these are valuable assets in any profession.

Read this article to learn why reading is essential, what to read, and most importantly, how to love the process.

A Unique Way to Level Up Your Life

The modern struggle is Lone individuals summoning inhuman willpower, fasting, meditating, and exercising… Up against armies of scientists and statisticians weaponizing abundant food, screens, and medicine into junk food, clickbait news, infinite porn, endless games, and addictive drugs.

The concept of “Solo Leveling” is a brilliant way to learn how to level up your life. Read this article to see how the concept of Solo Leveling can apply in you in real life.

APRIL 2024:

Receive and Give the Best Form of Feedback

If you’re serious about rapidly enhancing your skills and achieving your goals, you need the best form of feedback – the kind that not only points out what you’re doing wrong but shows you how to fix it.

This article will show you exactly how to do that.

What it means to be Truly Happy

If you constantly walk around thinking, “I need this,” or “I need that,” trapped in the web of desires – you are not happy. Happiness is the state when nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or future to regret something or to plan something.

This article talks about what it means to be truly happy. The guidelines are also gotten from the Almanack of Naval Ravikant.

The Simple Truths of Life

This is a list of simple life truths from a book – Habits of the Household by Justin Earl. These statements reveal the simplicity and truth of living. These truths should remind you on what life is really all about. No need to overcomplicate things. These truths might feel radical or religious, but the most radical truths are really simple ones.

This article lists these simple truths of life.

The Rules of a Magical Life

The ability to achieve in silence and celebrate in style can seem like a lost art form in a culture that frequently prioritizes oversharing and instant gratification. But this strategy not only has the secret to success; it also has similarities to the basic laws of magic, which, when applied to everyday life, open up a whole new range of opportunities.

Living a magical life is learning a secret recipe to success – hidden in plain sight yet accessible only to a chosen few. Read this article to find out more.