Tag: people (page 1 of 6)

High Agency: The Most Important Quality When Improving Yourself

You know that moment when life hits you with an unexpected problem?

A sudden emergency expense. Broken plans. A door of opportunity completely slammed shut.

Most people freeze.

They wait. Some of them complain. They hope something external shifts.

But a small group reacts differently.

They lean in. They ask, “Alright… how do I solve this?”

This mindset is called high agency.

And it’s the single most important quality for self-improvement.

Everything else — discipline, intelligence, connections — means nothing if you don’t believe you can actually move the needle.

If you want to grow fast in today’s world, you need this trait more than ever.

Let’s break it down.

What Is High Agency (And Why It Matters Now More Than Ever)

High agency is the fundamental belief that you can shape your world, not just react to it.

High agency is the difference between someone who sees a locked door and walks away versus someone who tries three different keys, picks the lock, or builds a new entrance.

Think about a child who sees a chocolate bar on the kitchen shelf.

They want it. The child climbs or drag a chair. They improvise.

That’s raw agency.

You were born with that drive. Everyone was.  But as life goes on, many people let it die under layers of excuses, fear, and conditioning.

High agency is simply taking back that original state.

It’s the belief that:

  • You can shape your life.
  • You can solve your problems.
  • You can figure things out even when you don’t know how yet.

In today’s society, this quality isn’t just useful. It’s survival.

The World wants to stop your High Agency

The World wants to stop your High Agency

We live in a world where the rules change fast.

Technology evolves daily. Opportunities appear and disappear overnight.

The people who thrive now are the ones who adapt quickly, learn fast, and take responsibility for everything they touch.

High agency is the conviction that you are an active participant in shaping your life, not a passive reactor to external events.

The Five Imperatives: Why You Must Develop High Agency

Developing a high sense of agency isn’t optional for becoming your highest self; it is the prerequisite.

Here are five major reasons why you must cultivate this quality now:

1. Nobody is coming to save you

If you rely on government, family, friends, or luck to rescue you, you’re done.

High agency kills the fantasy that someone else will do the work for you.

2. Problems don’t disappear; they compound

Avoiding responsibility doesn’t pause consequences; it multiplies them.

High agency forces you to confront things early while they’re still fixable.

3. Skill acquisition demands ownership

You can’t develop mastery with a passive mindset.

High agency pushes you to teach yourself, study on your own, and stay curious.

4. Your environment can’t be controlled, but your actions can

Life is unpredictable.

High agency gives you the ability to respond intelligently instead of reacting emotionally.

5. It creates momentum in every area

Once you start acting with high agency, everything speeds up: your learning, career, relationships, and opportunities.

People trust you more because you get things done.

These five reasons are the backbone of everything else in this newsletter.

The 5-Step Framework to Build High Agency

Let’s connect each reason to an actionable step. This is the part you’ll want to save.

STEP 1: Take responsibility immediately

The moment something goes wrong, claim it. Even if it wasn’t your fault.

Here’s what I mean.

If you say, “It’s not my fault,” you’ve surrendered all power to fix it. The problem becomes someone else’s job.

High agency begins the moment you say, “Okay, this is on me. Now what do I do about it?”

STEP 2: Identify problems early

Don’t let issues grow roots.

High agency people scan their life like a pilot checks instruments before taking off.

Ask yourself weekly:

  • What’s broken?
  • What’s slipping?
  • What’s uncomfortable that I’ve been avoiding?

Solve small issues before they become life-changing ones.

STEP 3: Become a self-teacher

High agency people don’t wait for perfect conditions.

They Google. Some of them watch videos. They experiment.

High agency people fail and try again.

If you want agency, stop waiting for someone to show you how. Learn the skill yourself.

Every skill you gain increases the number of problems you can solve.

STEP 4: Control your controllables

You can’t control the economy, but you can control your output.

People can’t be controlled, but you can control your standards.

Bad luck is unpredictable, but you can control preparation.

High agency is about focusing on your levers, not the world’s randomness.

STEP 5: Build fast momentum loops

Momentum is created through repeated small wins.

Make a habit of taking action within five minutes when an idea hits.

Send the email. Make the call. Start the draft.

Move quickly because the faster you act, the faster life rewards you.

The 5 Step Framework to Build High Agency

The 5 Step Framework to Build High Agency

How To Spot High Agency People and Learn from Them

Once you start building this mindset, you’ll notice something funny.

High agency becomes magnetic. You see it instantly in others.

Here’s how to spot them:

1. Look at their history

Are they the kind of person who makes things happen despite obstacles?

Or do they always have explanations for things not working out?

Patterns don’t lie.

2. Watch how they handle “no”

A low agency person hears “no” and quits.

A high agency person hears “no” and gets creative.

They find another door. Or another route.

Or they build something new.

3. Pay attention to their questions

Low agency asks: “Why can’t someone fix this?”

High agency asks: “How can I fix this myself?”

The question tells you everything.

4. Check their default bias

Do they wait? Or do they act?

High agency people move.

They prototype. The high agency person experiments. They don’t sit around hoping.

5. See how they learn

Do they teach themselves?

Or do they hunt for information? Do they take initiative without being asked?

If yes, that’s the person you should be around.

And here’s the secret:

Agency is contagious. When you’re around people who get things done, you start to rise to their level without even noticing.

Examples of High Agency People Who Built Their Success

These real-world examples are people who took control, acted, iterated, and outworked every excuse.

1. J.K. Rowling

J.K. Rowling was a single mother on welfare, dealing with depression, when she started writing Harry Potter. Publishers rejected her manuscript twelve times. Instead of giving up, she kept submitting.

She believed she could change her circumstances through her work. That agency transformed not just her life but created an entire cultural phenomenon.

2. Thomas Sankara (Burkina Faso)

As President of Burkina Faso, Sankara embodied national high agency.

He refused to accept that his country was doomed to poverty and foreign aid dependency. He launched unprecedented campaigns for self-sufficiency, vaccination, women’s rights, and environmental protection.

Sankara famously urged his people to “produce what we consume, and consume what we produce,” a powerful call for collective agency.

3. Patrick Collison (Stripe)

Collison taught himself how to code as a teenager, built multiple products before 20, and refuses to accept limitations.

He’s the embodiment of “I’ll figure it out.”

4. Tony Elumelu (Nigerian Entrepreneur)

Elumelu is a high agency machine.

He spotted opportunities others ignored, built UBA into a continental force, and created the Tony Elumelu Foundation to develop African entrepreneurs.

Elumelu didn’t wait for the system to change. He changed it himself.

These people didn’t follow a rulebook. They wrote their own.

So, Why Does High Agency Matter So Much?

Because everything you want requires movement.

And movement only happens when you believe you can move something.

High agency is the belief that the world is bendable.

Not easily, not instantly, but bendable if you push consistently.

When you demonstrate high agency, your environment shifts.

People trust you more. Opportunities find you.

You start solving problems others are scared of. And that attracts even bigger opportunities.

This is how teams transform. Businesses scale because of high agency people.

High agency is how you change your life from the inside out.

If there’s one thing you take from this entire article, let it be this:

You are far more powerful than you think.

Agency is your birthright. You had it as a child. Reclaim it now.

Start taking responsibility.

Solve small problems fast. Teach yourself the skills you lack. Surround yourself with people who make things happen.

Start acting with urgency.

The pattern is clear. The locked doors aren’t there to stop you. They’re there to filter out everyone who isn’t serious about getting through.

Be one of the people who finds the key.

High agency isn’t a personality trait. It’s a choice. Make it daily.

And watch how fast your life compounds.

Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

  1. Become Your Highest Self Newsletter: Every Sunday, I share actionable tips from successful people on how to master money, mindset and meaning.
  2. Fast Track Book: Stay relevant, master new skills, and be ready for whatever life throws at you.  This is the complete roadmap to speed up your learning process and expand the opportunities available to you. Available on Amazon.
  3. Personal Wealth Maximizer: Take control of your finances and build financial freedom. The Personal Wealth Maximizer give you the exact knowledge and tools to break free from money struggles and build financial confidence.

 

Father Figure: 5 Traits That Define True Fatherhood

The diaries of the family of a famous politician from the 18th Century were discovered.

In one of the entries, a father and his son went on a fishing trip and wrote their experience in their diaries.

For that day’s entry, the father wrote: “Went fishing with my son, a day wasted.”

For that same day’s entry, the son wrote: “Went fishing with my father today, the most glorious day of my life.”

This striking contrast reveals a profound truth.

The Role of a Father extends far beyond Biology.

Becoming a father is often grounded in a biological role. He is the male who contributes genetic material (sperm) that combines with an egg to create children.

But as time goes on, the role of fatherhood then extends to adoptive, or social responsibility for raising and caring for a child.

This means there are different types of fathers.

Biological fathers, adoptive fathers, stepfathers, foster fathers, spiritual fathers. At the heart of these roles lies the profound original model: The Father Figure.

Becoming, or having, a father figure… This is where the real work is.

And I will explain why.

Who is a Father Figure?

A Father Figure represent the original image of fatherhood that transcends biological connection.

They embody the fundamental qualities and roles that define true paternal guidance. Father figures protect and provide not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically.

They embody mentorship, helping younger ones navigate life’s complexities through direct instruction and modelling.

Most importantly, a Father Figure reveals fatherhood as a profound responsibility rather than merely a genetic relationship.

There is much to learn from these figures and how to identify them in your life.

Speaking of learning, one of the modern era’s most insightful singer-songwriters, Jon Bellion, recently released an album titled ‘Father Figure.’ This album is a promise to his sons, echoing the devotion shown by those who shaped him.

Throughout this article, I’ll use some of his powerful lyrics to illustrate the key traits of a true Father Figure.

Stay with me on this.

The Five Traits of a Father Figure

Whether examining earthly relationships or divine guidance, a father figure consistently exhibits five fundamental traits:

Provision. Presence. Patience. Perseverance. Protection.

Let’s break it down.

  1. Provision

If you’re in his way, then I’m on my way, oh

Don’t shoot that boy down, He stays in the clouds (Hе does)

– Jon Bellion, DON’T SHOOT.

A father figure provides before you even know what you need.

He works long hours, skips comforts, and shows up consistently. Your earthly father figures may not have everything, but they give everything they have to those in their care. They know that provision goes beyond money and things – they also give time, attention, and love.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19

God, our heavenly Father, provides even more. He gives us breath, purpose, and grace every day. Divine provision shows us that God gives us everything we need, even when we don’t deserve it.

With a Father Figure, you feel safe because someone considers your needs before you even voice them.

  1. Presence

Lord, it’s tough to hold my son and be here in the moment.

I need to keep him safe, tell me which direction this world is going…

He said a present father is worth way more than a perfect dad

– Jon Bellion, MY BOY

Being there means more than just showing up in the same room.

Earthly fathers who truly understand presence put down their phones, look into their children’s eyes, and listen. They show up because they know their attention is a gift.

A Father Figure create memories by simply being fully there in each moment.

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17

God’s presence is even closer and surpasses this earthly model. He never leaves, even when the world feels quiet. Our Heavenly Father reminds us we are never truly alone, even in our darkest times.

Because some of the best love is felt, not spoken.

  1. Patience

So can we decide
That we’ll give this one more try?
And we’ll get it right, yeah, we’ll get it right this time

– Jon Bellion, GET IT RIGHT

A father is patient even when you mess up again and again.

He doesn’t yell when you drop the ball; instead, he helps you pick it back up. Earthly fathers try to guide gently. They know growth takes time.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:9

God exemplifies perfect patience. He waits for us when we drift and welcomes us back with open arms. His patience with us shows perfect love that never gives up, even when we mess up again and again.

Real love doesn’t give up when progress is slow.

  1. Perseverance

If the higher I fly is the further I fall

Then why love anything at all?

– Jon Bellion, WHY

A father figure never gives up, no matter how hard things get.

On earth, father figures continue to love, guide, and support even when it feels like nothing is working. These fathers understand that raising children is a marathon, not a sprint. They stay committed for the long journey.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23

God’s love never stops chasing us, even when we run the other way. His perseverance teaches us that His love endures through every season of our lives.

The strength of a Father Figure becomes most evident when he refuses to walk away.

  1. Protection

If less of me will give you more, I’m strangling my pride

Light of my life, lay down my life

– Jon Bellion, RICH AND BROKE

A father’s ultimate responsibility is to keep his children safe from harm.

Earthly fathers protect their kids from physical danger, but they also guard their hearts and minds from things that could hurt them. They create safe homes where children can grow without fear. Good fathers build walls around what’s harmful while opening doors to what’s good and right.

A Father Figure protects with his hands, hearts, and hard choices.

“The Lord is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” – Psalm 91:2

God protects your soul. He covers us in battles we can’t even see. Divine protection reminds us that we have a heavenly Father who watches over us every moment.

Because love instinctively guards the ones it treasures.

How Father Figures Create Lasting Impact

The fishing trip anecdote that opened this email discussion illustrates the powerful difference perspective makes in father-child relationships.

While one saw a wasted day, the other experienced life’s greatest joy.

This contrast must remind you that becoming or recognising a Father Figure (whether in yourself or others) requires intentional commitment to these five essential traits.

When someone embodies the role of Father Figure, they unlock the ability to shape destinies and build confidence in those they guide.

Through provision, presence, patience, perseverance, and protection, these remarkable individuals create ripple effects that strengthen families, communities, and future generations.

Who in your life embodies these qualities? Take a moment to appreciate them.

And consider how you might cultivate these ‘Father Figure’ traits in your interactions.

Cheers.

Zamai.

Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

  1. Become Your Highest Self: Every Sunday, I share actionable tips from successful people on how to master money, mindset and meaning. Please confirm your subscription via mail so the newsletter goes straight into your inbox.
  2. Fast Track Book: Stay relevant, master new skills, and be ready for whatever life throws at you.  This is the complete roadmap to speed up your learning process and expand the opportunities available to you. Available on Amazon.
  3. Personal Wealth Maximizer: Take control of your finances and build financial freedom. The Personal Wealth Maximizer give you the exact knowledge and tools to break free from money struggles and build financial confidence.

Social Wealth: Why Relationships Might Be Your Real Net Worth

Social wealth is the connection to others in your personal and professional worlds.

The more people who love and support you, the more social wealth you have. It’s the depth and breadth of your relationships to those around you. Social wealth is having good friends and family who care about you.

Having a meaningful human connection is important for a fulfilling life.

Prioritising relationships is essential to your happiness and well-being. Fortunately, there is a framework for building Social Wealth through three core pillars: Depth, Breadth, and Earned Status.

This is still a review from Sahil’s book – 5 Types of Wealth: A Transformative Guide to Design Your Dream Life.

From his book (now a bestseller), I will share the practical systems and hacks for improving your social fitness and developing stronger connections.

The Core Idea is Prioritising People

Deep, meaningful relationships are the foundation of a wealthy life.

No matter how you focus on your career or financial success, your achievements in other areas will feel empty without strong social connections.

Do you really picture yourself alone on that plane or yacht? What good is the big house if there is no love to fill it?

Human connection is ultimately what provides the lasting texture and meaning in life.

Social Wealth

The Three Pillars of Social Wealth

Your Social Wealth is built across three core pillars.

1. Depth: The Front-Row People

This is the connection with a small, inner circle of people with whom you share deep, meaningful, and durable bonds.

These are your Front-Row People. You can rely on them for love, support, and connection during good times and bad.

How to Build Depth

  1. Be Honest: Share your inner truth and weaknesses and truly listen when others do the same.
  2. Show Support: Be present and supportive during difficult times. Sit in the darkness with those who are struggling.
  3. Have Shared Experience: Engage in positive and negative experiences together. This will strengthen your bonds and build resilience in all your relationships.

Your circle of depth is not limited to family.

Meaningful connections can be found anywhere.

Your circle of closest and irreplaceable people must not be static. It can evolve and change over time as relationships grow or fade. But note this, depth is crucial for a happy and fulfilled life.

Your depth of social wealth provides a foundation of support and love that makes anything possible.

2. Breadth: Belonging to Something Bigger

Your breadth of social wealth is connecting to a larger circle of people for support and belonging beyond your inner circle.

You achieve this by participating in communities or having more individual relationships. Community is very important.  It provides a sense of belonging and connects you to individuals you may not have physically met.

Belonging to communities also lets you connect to something larger than oneself. And communities can be formed around various interests, such as cultural, spiritual, local, or professional affiliations.

How to Build Breadth

  1. Join Local Clubs or Communities: Participate in activities related to your hobbies and interests. It can be book clubs, art clubs, or gyms.
    1. Attend Spiritual Gatherings: Engage in faith-driven activities if you are a spiritual individual. It can be church programs, gospel artistes’ concerts or volunteering for evangelism.
    2. Sign up and join Digital Meetups: You can join online communities that focus on causes you care about.
    3. Coordinate Walks or Hikes: Organise regular outdoor activities with others in your area.
    4. Attend Networking Events: Overcome shyness and attend events that can lead to new connections.

Expanding your breadth of social wealth requires trying new things and being open to the world.

To do this, you must be generous and not expect anything in return. Both are essential for building meaningful connections within a broader network.

The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.3. Earned Status: Social Currency That Lasts

This is the third pillar of your social wealth.

Earned status is the respect, admiration, and trust you receive from your peers based on your actions and character, rather than acquired possessions or social symbols.

There is a big difference between bought and earned status.

Bought Status is achieved through acquired status symbols such as club memberships, expensive cars, jewellery, or private plane flights.

Earned status is achieved through hard-won treasures like freedom to choose how to spend your time, loving family relationships and purposeful work. It can also be accumulated wisdom, adaptable mind, fit physique, professional promotions, or company sales.

Focus on Increasing Your Earned Status

Lasting, durable satisfaction comes from pursuing earned status.

Genuine respect and admiration (from those whose opinions you value) comes when you focus on improving your earned status.

Bought status is fleeting and provides only temporary social positioning. On the other hand, earned status is durable and lasting, providing a solid foundation for Social Wealth.

Concentrate on what must be earned rather than what can be bought.

This is how you will live a life of abundant Social Wealth.

The Social Wealth Guide: Systems for Success

There are actionable systems for building Social Wealth.

These systems are not one-size-fits-all, so feel free to select those that resonate and align with your personal goals.

First, there are some anti-goals you must avoid. Don’t allow the pursuit of financial success to damage deep connections. Don’t neglect local relationships and community ties.

Now, here are ten Proven Systems for Building Social Wealth

1. Social Wealth Hacks I Wish I Knew at Twenty-Two:

    1. Happiness is direction, not destination; whom you travel with counts.
    2. People are made for love.
    3. Political disagreement doesn’t preclude close relationships.
    4. Happy people love people, use things, and worship the divine; unhappy people do the opposite.
    5. It’s a bad trade to prioritize being special over being happy.
    6. Approach disagreements as a “we,” not a “me.”
    7. Happiness requires generosity in love and allowing yourself to be loved.
    8. Talk to people unlike you to expose yourself to new perspectives.
    9. Treat fighting like exercise.
    10. Focus on relationships, not leaving them to chance.
    11. Expand your time horizon with love.
    12. Entrepreneurs risk their hearts by falling in love.
    13. Say exactly what you mean.
    14. Don’t treat family like emotional ATMs.
    15. Make friendship an end, not a means.
    16. Don’t spread misery.
    17. Put on your oxygen mask first.
    18. Don’t focus on looks and status in others.
    19. Let people know when you think something nice about them.
    20. Tell your partner one thing you appreciate about them every day.
    21. Ask intimidating people what they’re most excited about and then listen closely.
    22. Offer unwavering support during tough times.
    23. Record video interviews with your parents.
    24. Send a book you love as a gift.
    25. Always carry a pocket notebook.
    26. Never keep score in life.
    27. Avoid overly transactional friendships.
    28. Wait twenty-four hours before acting on strong emotions.
    29. Compliment a stranger every day.
    30. Focus on being interested, not interesting.
    31. Do things worthy of stories to tell your kids someday.

2. The Relationship Map (Pillars: Depth and Breadth):

  1. List your core relationships (10-25).
  2. Assess relationships based on if they are supportive, ambivalent, or demeaning, and by their frequency.
  3. Map the relationships on a grid with Relationship Health (demeaning to supportive) on the x-axis and Relationship Frequency (rare to daily) on the y-axis.

Then put your core relationships into these zones:

  • Green Zone: (Supportive, frequent) – Prioritize and maintain.
  • Opportunity Zone: (Supportive, infrequent) – Increase interaction frequency.
  • Danger Zone: (Ambivalent, frequent) – Manage impact or improve interactions.
  • Red Zone: (Demeaning, frequent) – Manage or remove the relationship.

3. Two Rules for Growing in Love (Pillar: Depth):

Rule 1: Understand Love Languages: Words of affirmation, Quality time, Gifts, Acts of service and Physical touch.

Recognize and show love in your partner’s preferred language.

Rule 2: Avoid the Traps (The Four Horsemen): Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling

Use antidotes like gentle start-up, taking responsibility, building appreciation, and physiological self-soothing.

There is also some additional relationship advice you can adopt.

Avoid scorekeeping, maintain separate interests, understand that it can’t always be 50/50, avoid involving non-professional third parties in disagreements, prioritize your spouse, and accept each other without needing approval from others.

4. The Life Dinner (Pillar: Depth):

Have a monthly date with your partner to discuss personal, professional, and relationship progress, challenges, and goals.

5. Helped, Heard, or Hugged (Pillar: Depth):

When someone comes to you with a problem, ask if they want to be helped (solutions), heard (listening), or hugged (comfort).

be helped (solutions), heard (listening), or hugged (comfort).

6. The Four Principles of a Master Conversationalist (Pillar: Breadth):

  1. Create Doorknobs: Use questions or statements that invite storytelling.
  2. Be a Loud Listener: Use sounds, expressions, and body language to show engagement
  3. Repeat and Follow: Repeat key points and add insights or questions.
  4. Make Situational Eye Contact: Deep while listening and organic while speaking.

7. The Anti-Networking Guide (Pillar: Breadth):

    1. Principle 1: Find Value-Aligned Rooms: Put yourself in places where you’ll meet people with similar values and interests.
    2. Principle 2: Ask Engaging Questions: Start conversations with personal questions.
    3. Principle 3: Become a Loud Listener: Focus intently while the other person speaks and listen to understand.
    4. Principle 4: Use Creative Follow-ups: Show effort beyond a typical exchange.

8. The Brain Trust (Pillar: Breadth):

Build a personal board of advisers (5-10 people) with diverse perspectives for feedback and advice.

Focus on their genuine interest in your success. They might each have a particular archetype, such as senior executive, inspirational leader, or contrarian thinker.

9. The Public Speaking Guide (Pillars: Breadth and Earned Status):

During Pre-Event Preparation: Create clear Structure, practice your key moments and study the best speakers you want to emulate.

During Pre-Stage Preparation: Address the Spotlight by confront your worst fears about what could go wrong. Then get into character and eliminate any form of stress.

During Delivery: Cut the Tension with jokes, use big, confident gestures to hype yourself up and move purposefully.

10. The Status Tests (Pillar: Earned Status):

When seeking status, take these two tests:

The Bought-Status Test: Would I buy this if I couldn’t show it off?

The Earned-Status Test: Can the richest person in the world acquire this easily?

Diagram 4: A fit body, a calm mind, a house full of love. These things cannot be bought – they must be earned.

Tailor Your Social Wealth to Fit What You Truly Need

The exact levels of social depth and breadth appropriate for an individual can vary by person.

You may be more naturally extroverted and desire high degrees of social breadth and depth. Or you might be more introverted and prefer fewer, deeper connections.

This means if you are a natural extrovert, you need significant breadth and depth of connection to keep loneliness at bay.  If you are a natural introvert, you will need only a few close relationships to do the same.

Your goal is to look at the three pillars of social wealth and know where to improve.

The plan is to prioritise relationships and build a life rich in meaningful connections.

I hope it helps.

Zamai