Tag: productivity (page 1 of 4)

Kita Mindset: How to Stop Being Nervous

The Kita Mindset adopts the lifestyle and mantra of Kita Shinsuke.

A quiet and humble captain of a high school volleyball team. I found this character  when rewatching a sport series – Haikyuu.

“Someone’s always watching, Shin. The gods are everywhere. So someone’s always watching.”

Kita’s grandmother spoke the above statement to her grandson when he was a small child. She believed it was always good to always do the right things. Because “the gods” or someone was watching your waves

Her little boy believed his grandma’s words, transforming it to a lifestyle as he grew up.

Kita Mindset – Do it right and do it every day

This statement becomes a mantra for Kita Shinsuke.

Take care of your body. Tidy up after yourself. Practice gratitude. And you practice what you do.

You do it right and you do it every day.

This is how Kita adopted this mindset and became the captain of the second-best volleyball team in Japan.

Kita’s plays on the court were not polished but they were thorough. More importantly, his philosophy of doing it right made Kita to be a good leader. Kita brought out the best from his team members.

This leads me to talk about a new type of confidence.

Stop Being Nervous

The Kita Mindset – Stop Being Nervous

How to Stop Being Nervous

In a previous article, I shared how confidence helps people continuously stay at the top.

Kita Shinsuke developed his own type and always overflowed with confidence. This was not confidence that says that you are better than others. But confidence that ensures that you won’t mess up.

Kita brilliantly sums it up in a conversation with one of his players:

“I don’t understand why anyone ever gets nervous. You only get nervous because you try to be more powerful than you usually are, right? I mean, when you do day-to-day things like eat or take a shit, you don’t get nervous.”

The Kita mindset goes beyond volleyball. I believe it applies to life too.

Maximize your Kita Mindset with practice, practice, practice.

Practice well enough that you have reason to have faith in yourself.

An example would be a job interview.  From my experience and discussion with others, job interviews are easiest when you truly know what you are doing. As long as you practice a few answers to common questions, there is no need to be nervous.

If it’s something you can do during practice, there’s no reason to get nervous.

Practice and work on something. This can be work, a hobby or something you want. And if you do this, every day, you’ll feel…  great.

There is also something that Kita says that makes so much sense:

“Everything you do on a scale of one to ten. The Geniuses do from one to twenty. Other times, they do a more efficient ten. Or they try new things from A to Z.”

I think it is clearer once you realize this. So be humble enough to realize that the successful people simply do more each day towards progressing in their craft than you do. If you want more, you simply need to do more. And the results will simply follow.

When you have prepared for the big moments, there won’t be no need to be nervous.

Your everyday actions are what make you who you are. Results are just the side effects of what you do.

I’m basically built from my daily routine, and the results are nothing more than a byproduct. I don’t need any applause. I am just going to do what I need to do.

Do what works for you

Have the confidence to find out what works for you.

This is very important. If you feel what you are doing genuinely works for you, don’t worry about someone else thinking it wrong. When you develop confidence in what works for you, there is a feeling of peace.

You get things done so easily.

I like the way Kita also puts it after he becomes the captain of his team:

“The gods are always everywhere. That’s what Grandma would always tell me, but at some point, I stopped caring. It’s not like I’m doing this for the gods. Repetition, being methodical, and being thorough just feels nice.”

I hope you find the confidence to find out what works for you. When you find out (or if you have found it already), please do it right and do it every day.

The more thorough you are, the more pride you take it in… The more fun it becomes.

Solomon’s Paradox: How to Counsel Yourself Right

Let me tell you when I first encountered Solomon’s paradox.

As a born strategist, I learnt chess as a young child by playing my fellow peers in high school.

We used to form a ring in the classroom where the players sit at the middle with the chessboard. Then the remaining people – the spectators stood and watched the moves of the players.

And every single time, I noticed a pattern.

Whenever I was a spectator, I saw the best moves each player would have made. Their mistakes. And how the game will eventually end.

As non-players, we would nod in approval when one of the players made a good move. We giggled or gasped if a bad move is done.

Yet, when I was in the middle, either playing black or white – there was friction. I don’t see the game clearly as when I spectated. Mistakes were always bound to happen.

Does the Bystanders See better than the Players?

Our teachers used to say, that the spectators often see the game better because they are not pressured or making the moves themselves.

This pretty much happens to everyone in life, but I only connected it later.

When people are thinking about significant life issues, they frequently concentrate on the specific details of their own experiences, which hinders their ability to see things from a wider angle and is counterproductive to logic.

Why is this so?

This is because we don’t see the world the way it is, we see the world the way we are. We are emotionally invested in our own circumstances but logical when evaluating those of others.

The psychologists called this phenomenon – Solomon’s Paradox.

Solomon's Paradox

Solomon’s Paradox – Visualization Credit: Pejman Milani

Why did they call it Solomon’s Paradox?

Because you see… King Solomon was famous in the Old Testament for his extraordinary wisdom. He was regarded as one of the most brilliant individuals to have ever lived.

Yet, King Solomon had a disorganized personal life:

Hundreds of wives and concubines. Lack of interest in his children’s upbringing. Obsession with wealth and money.

To put it briefly, King Solomon was an excellent advisor but a bad one at applying the same counsel to his own situation.

You have at some point found yourself in Solomon’s Paradox.

You are impartial, and logical, when you are thinking about the issues that other people are facing.

When you think about your own issues, you become volatile, emotional, and illogical.

Solomon’s Paradox strikes when you give others clear, logical viewpoints and guidance but are unable to give yourself the same kind of clarity and reason.

How do you then break out of it?

I love the strategies recommended by Sahil Bloom. Firstly, Create Space. Then zoom out.

Create space from your emotional decisions.

You tend to make poor decisions because of your emotional attachment to a situation. The secret to getting out of the paradox is to give the situation some distance. Either physically or emotionally.

To create this space, you must pause, reset and engage.

Pause to give yourself time to react—whether it’s a few seconds, minutes, hours, or days. Reset by reminding yourself that you are in charge of what happens after you give yourself permission to experience the emotional reaction.

Then engage the situation with a more balanced perspective.

Zoom out to gain a wider perspective

Like a chess player, you live your life zoomed in.

This creates challenges. Because of this view, your progress appears smaller than it actually is. And your difficulties appear greater than they are.

Zooming out gives you perspective on the remarkable extent of your progress the real nature of your difficulties.

That’s all it takes…

A wiser man after Solomon’s era summarized these strategies to escape this paradox:

And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?

How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?

Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. (Matthew 7:3-5)

Solomon’s Paradox serves as an important reminder that while we’re all excellent at giving advice, we’re not so good at following it.

Create space and zoom out. That’s how you escape your Solomon’s paradox.

Johari Window: The Best Way to Increase Your Self-Awareness

The Johari Window is an easy and scientifically proven method to help you increase your self-awareness and your understanding of others.

I learnt this technique this week.

You see, a long time, two psychologists developed a framework to help people better understand their relationship with themselves and others. Their names were Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. And guess what they called it…

“The Johari Window”

They named the model using a combination of their first names. These psychologists made the right naming choice. Because the Johari Window soon became a widely used model for understanding and training self-awareness, personal development, interpersonal relationships and team building.

And here’s how you can take advantage of this model.

How does this model work?

The Johari Window enhances your perception about yourself and how others see you.

This model is based on two ideas – Feedback and Disclosure. You can acquire trust by revealing information about yourself to others (Disclosure). And you can also acquire trust by learning more about yourself from others’ feedback.

The Johari Window represents you through four quadrants or rooms.

Each of the four rooms represents a personal detail, motivation, emotion, and whether you or others know the information, from four different perspectives.

The Johari Window

What are the Four Rooms of the Johari Window?

Two of these rooms represent self and the other two represent the part unknown to self but to others:

  1. The Open Room:

This part represents your conscious self that you are aware of and that others know.

Your attitudes, behaviors, motivations, values and way of life. This zone becomes your open self because you and others know it. You move within this arena with freedom.

In this room, you are an “open book.”

  1. The Hidden Room:

This represents the things you know about yourself but others do not know.

The hidden room or façade can be any personal information which you feel reluctant to reveal. Your feelings, past experiences, fears and secrets. You might keep this information private because it affects your relationships with others.

The hidden room reveals deep insights, because how you see yourself is inconsistent with how you behave.

  1. The Blind Spot:

This zone represents the things others see but you do not know.

Other people are bound to interpret yourself differently than you expect.  So it’s important to approach this room with curiosity, not defensiveness.  Ask questions to learn more about their perspectives.

After hearing their answers, ask them – What actions and behavior have I done that led to your answers. See your blind spot as a great opportunity to learn and increase your self-awareness.

  1. The Unknown Room:

This is information unknown to yourself and others.

Underestimated abilities. Repressed or subconscious feelings. Conditioned behaviour or attitudes from childhood. These are examples of the unknown room.

You can unlock your unknown room through varying processes, either by self-discovery or observation by others.

How to use the Johari Window

Your target becomes simple now that you fully understand each room of the Johari Window.

Expanding your open room at the expense of the unknown and Blind spot results in greater knowledge of yourself. Voluntary disclosing your private room in greater interpersonal intimacy and friendship.

Reduce your blind spot by seeking feedback from others. Move information from the hidden room by taking time to reveal aspects of yourself to others. Then explore your unknown room by discovering your hidden abilities or by observing other people.

Most importantly, increase your open room to fully maximize your Johari Window.

What is the Ideal Johari Window?

A person with an ideal Johari Window has a significant open room.

Your goal is to expand this public domain. Do this by disclosing more about yourself to others. Also accept feedback from others.

A significant public domain shows that people know you well and that you are conscious of your own capabilities, emotions, and behaviors. This understanding between you and others improves your own effectiveness and makes social interactions easier.

You might even start feeling like Gojo Satoru at some point.

The greatest in your era.